Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML
Today, the only girl I've ever had eyes for said she can't find any good single men, all while sitting next to me. FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML
Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MissEmma_fml 22
Forever alone.
DocBastard 40
You didn't look far enough. The real love of your life is the buffet across the room. Send me an invitation to the wedding.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (233)
Popcornography 10
Confucius say: forever alone, you are. EDIT: Damn it, #25!
Popcornography 10
An awful pun. I'm assuming it's on the wrong FML as well.
Popcornography 10
Aimed at #24. For some reason, it didn't reply to his comment.
reject214 10
Buy a blow-up doll like the co-pilot in Airplane!!! LMAO!
Policedog123 4
Could be worse.... could be a Relitive or a person of the same sex :/
MissEmma_fml 22
Are you saying that same-sex relationships are wrong?
Psych101 9
I don't think 30 was saying that they're wrong, but I do think he was assuming OP was heterosexual. In that case, it would be worse for OP. Of course, this is all assuming that fortune cookies are to be trusted.
I_lost_the_game 25
Ngh... Must... resist... Nah, can't do it. Relative*
LightningrodC 3
What if it was your mom?
Ashley0911 8
Fortune cookies now a days have no meaning anymore. :/
kitsune3 20
You mean they actually meant something once?
Ashley0911 8
At one point to 10 year old me they did. :)
bimonthly 4
*kobe bryant walks in*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
*Usher walks in*
Slender_Man 6
*Ariana Grande walks in*
mrsquiggles6900 5
*i walk in*
itsharkley 8
*Everyone walks out but me*
krylonpony 3
Chinese Food: Hey, I just met you? And this is crazy!? So call me maybe! *fortune cookie fortune came true*
savannah0790 0
Maybe it was a ghost, lol..
brandon3747 16
Forever alone 3.0
Warden1986 16
Take it as your fortune, isn't sure who the love of your life is.