Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML
Today, the only girl I've ever had eyes for said she can't find any good single men, all while sitting next to me. FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML
Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML
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Top comments
MissEmma_fml 22
Forever alone.
DocBastard 40
You didn't look far enough. The real love of your life is the buffet across the room. Send me an invitation to the wedding.
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Comments (233)
sweethang26 7
At least it wasn't your brother/sister!
your_ma 27
Yeah because everything a fortune cookie says is true and OP would have had to marry their sibling and have lots of inbred babies!!
dead_insects 18
if only all life was as simple as a message in a cookie... worry not, if its true love, it'll find you. til then, enjoy the Chinese food..yum!
outoftown 27
#14, That sounded good until I saw your username. Shades of windshield roadkill FML... shiver.
dead_insects 18
#195: I have that effect on people. you're not alone... but now that my work here is done, I shall leave you to your shivers ^_~
TheFirstSamurai 18
Well what are you waiting for OP? Take this opportunity and romance that chair!
jose562 5
At least it wasn't any of your family members.
kitsune3 20
Don't worry about it, OP. It's just a fortune cookie. They're not exactly legit.
perdix 31
Go plunk your ass in a chair across from a hot guy and hand him the fortune. He'll be so surprised he'll accept your Egg Fu Young. You two can fu four or five times that night.
dead_insects 18
exactly, cuz after you fu, you're in the mood for more fu an hour later! ^_^
br0ccoli 15
19-Someone has the gift for Hallmark. A friend of mine just sent a "Thank you for having sex with me" card. You are on trend.
krylonpony 3
Cuz everyone was young fu fighting! DananananananaNA, Oooooo they were fast as lightning!
tennisrapper1 14
I know I'm taking this a little seriously; I'm in a serious mood right now. Fortune cookies don't determine life to its end. It's the choices you make and when you make them.
Sammansix 3
Invisible person maybe?
featherygoose 9
What a shitty situation.
Paco_el_Taco 17
Confucius says, forever alone....