Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 a.m. by my roommates throwing a party down the hall. I put some earplugs in so I could get some rest for my 8 a.m final. They worked really well, so well in fact that I didn't hear my alarm and woke up at noon. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
A good three-way would have helped to smoothen out that week.
wozer 0
sounds like her roommate had it pretty rough too
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Comments (56)
ThunderJizzed 0
Ok thats hilarious. If that happened to me, I would just join them :P
MadVlrus 1
People shouldn't make that much noise whatever the reason. Knock on the door and tell them to be quaiet.
valmont_fml 0
Kinda reminds me of an ultimatum I gave a friend of mine when he and his girlfriend were living in my house. I told them that if they woke me up, I would bang on the wall between our rooms. Then, if that didn't solve it, I'd go open the door to their room and come in. I never got woken up.
katiewubsmusic 0
Walk in with the world biggest *****, and begin inserting it slowly into your mouth, in and out, until they get creeped out. Then have a wild time masturbating, and ****** right in front of them. They'll learn their lesson
jizzle777 0
lol haha sucker now u no how it feels
saranwrap69 0
quit yer bitchn. lol
ilovefatcats 12
lol that happend to me b4 exept we were in the same room i
My2864 1
bang on the wall tell her to shut the **** up? like this damn anti flood **** YOU ANTI FLOOD
blondie1804 0
lol @ 17
sweetalicious 1
shove your foot in her mouth.