Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I'm stuck with sleeping in the same room as my mother. The problem? Her snores are extremely loud and a full minute long. I'm not kidding, I timed it. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
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Top comments
LightningLadyy 0
Duuude, that's just not right...
rattusrattus 19
Ah, your roomate is a parselmouth. Keep a close eye on them.
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Comments (64)
Luke1717 0
wow
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I think idve bought me some earplugs after the first few days, but I guess that's just crazy ole me talkin!..
alwa7sh 2
Eat a bean and cheese burrito and see of your roommate can sleep through the farts and the smell.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Stuff a rolled up sock in her mouth.
joshua22 3
maybe shes possessed? you should get her a exorcism.
SweetlyDeviant 0
I totally agree. Hire a priest and get a silver cross and some holy water ASAP
snoot 0
kill her
LightningLadyy 0
Duuude, that's just not right...
crystalxa 35
Maybe she's possesed! Maybe you should try to sleep with headphones in!
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Like a cat hiss, or more of a snake-like hissing? Details!
xxmollyxx 25
Cats hissing make me happy.
fightingkittens 39
Haha I know just what you mean! I always laugh hysterically when my cats hiss at each other.
XxKyttixX 0
If you can't beat em, join em!
princessbits 17
That would just make it worse.
XxKyttixX 0
"75 more points....at least!"
XxKyttixX 0
Ugh sorry my ipod is glintching with this app real bad, it keeps posting comments in the wrong spots lol.
mintcar 10
Sucks for you. I can't stand to sleep around loud snorers.
princessbits 17
She sounds like a joy to sleep next to.
rattusrattus 19
Ah, your roomate is a parselmouth. Keep a close eye on them.
xStarKillerx 4
Wouldn't want you-know-who to come back.
guppy40000 0
lol im a snake, a slithery snake
xStarKillerx 4
You slithery snake you.
Cinn_fml 23
Earplugs.
Zebidee 9
Exactly. Yet another FML where the problem isn't the scenario, but the OP's failure to take even the most basic steps to solve their own problems.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
OP could be like me in that if I wear ear plugs to bed than I can't hear my morning alarm which would create a major problem for someone who has a class or work to get to.
Cinn_fml 23
Phone under pillow? An elaborate Wallace and Gromit type invention? Getting the room mate to wake her up when she gets up? Though I suppose that last one depends on when the room mate gets up, but I'm assuming that as (I think) room mates are assigned, they'd pick people with similar schedules...
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I think that roommates are generally decided by alphabetical order except in cases where people managed to get permission to room with a specific person. I don't think schedule has anything to do with it because I've known a couple of people who had roommates who took all evening classes when they took all morning classes.
Cinn_fml 23
Fair enough. It was just a thought.
UpsidedownKayak 9
I am so glad I can sleep through anything, except for the nightmares about FML. That truly sucks for you OP.