Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

Eye bleach

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

Such a cutie

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML