Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML
Today, at work at a beauty salon, I was explaining to a mom and her daughter about how we were going to style their hair, and the processes involved. I tripped over my words, saying, "We’ll start with a wash and a blowjob." Pretty sure from the way they stomped out I might not have a job tomorrow. FML
Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML
Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML
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Top comments
StudMuffinette 17
finally my fml gets posted :D
speshlk37 13
tell her to "shave this..."
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Comments (210)
twiride 12
first(:
Asura09 0
well done, you have no life...
SuckItTrolls 7
Get moderated 1
StudMuffinette 17
4- agreed
speshlk37 13
tell her to "shave this..."
littlemissFYL 5
i mustache you a question, but i think i'll shave it for later :3
WCARlover 35
21 that was pretty awesome:) I feel any comments after that will not surpass the quality of yours so I'm not even going to try to say something clever
NeatNit 33
What's the problem OP? Charge for both!
Docbee 11
21 I beard you to say it now or forever keep your peace. 0.0
nixter5 18
21 you're SO punny!!!
littlemissFYL 5
*43 umadbro?
rebel128 5
ok but I warn you eyebrows google
rebel128 5
that was at 21 btw
monkeys1315 0
21, haha my boyfriend has a shirt that says that.
dolphincheddar 10
pics or gtfo
Madiluvsyuh98 2
hey i just gotta say yur my fav commenter!
OffTJHook3r 2
After 3 days that is when he finally spoke two words and those words were spoken to me "****** boob". -red Aka cleavland
Jennifra 0
Not to be a know it all, but if a dog is that severely matted you are supposed to shave it!
Jakaroo 0
hi
iPoopMusic 0
92- *****
Sirin_fml 47
We moved them to YouTube, because that's where begging for thumbs up belongs. :-)
zuzupetalsYO 11
she's still paying for the brushing. I hope you know this.
Tjack_atack 0
haha
dre_bro11 12
107, not necessarily. What's wrong with the way OP did it (apart from the fact that the owner then wanted it shaved), it still got the knots out.
nixter5 18
47- Nah I'm not hatin! I got love for everyone! especially you now. icwatudidthere.
StudMuffinette 17
finally my fml gets posted :D
daisyloo 7
Congrats!
okpmed 0
Ugh, I did grooming during college. I hear you, that would've pissed me off too. People can be so retarded.
Susieee_Q 9
This is probably the first time I've EVER seen an OP comment on their FML. I was beginning to wonder.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
same here I was wondering if it ever happened.
xleanne_aLly 23
no, i seen two other OP comment on their fml's :p. lol
HU4L188 0
3- shouldve told her to come back tomorrow or pay for both
campana1024 0
thats your job so stop complaning
puny74 0
Holy sh!t 38 ur pic moves when i scroll down! (^?^)
Madiluvsyuh98 2
yur that young and yur bringing yur own dog to the vet? i say its more of like your moms fml or sumthin ahaha jk jk not trying to be an ass :) sorry about that booboo
ericwashere 0
you said to ask if anyone has questions so why are half the people on here born in 95?
kaykay20 0
It's my second time seeing a op comment their post. It's very rare
KiddNYC1O 22
20 & 23- Stick around...
alphabetsoup96 0
she clearly said "I was at work"
Person1233 13
I've commented on my two FMLs...
Madiluvsyuh98 2
omg! ireaditwrong! i feel like a douche so sorry!
redbluegreen 41
OPs comment all the time. I don't know where you lot are getting your information.
OffTJHook3r 2
Lmfao it does 8-)
Madiluvsyuh98 2
yeah well youre ugglyy
Madiluvsyuh98 2
thumbs down if yu think im pretttyy!!
FruitSalad4225 0
I think you got trolled IRL.
miamiheatfan56 0
103- You forgot to put the word obnoxious (my apologies if that word is too big for you) after "pretttyy!" No worries though, I knew what you meant so I thumbed you down anyway! You're welcome.
DeepDownThere 3
****** New Kids
alexistheboss365 0
high five!!
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
lol 103 got 15 thumbs up >.< instead of downs but I think ur ok looking :p
grapisy 8
Props to everyone who thumbs-upped 103.
Imgonnahaveabf 9
Nahh I think 102 meant to put desprate.. If only it was possible to put 2 thumbs down...
Madiluvsyuh98 2
well thats not nice...
Madiluvsyuh98 2
125- aw thanks!
Madiluvsyuh98 2
where did my comments go!
TheRealSIDeal 1
lucky......
Sirin_fml 47
We moved them to YouTube, because that's where begging for thumbs up belongs.
Madiluvsyuh98 2
forreal!
YayorNay 8
Yeah forreals
Madiluvsyuh98 2
yu cant do that
Madiluvsyuh98 2
i didnt give yu my permission
Madiluvsyuh98 2
george lopez marathon everybody! and take that fake pic of yur just a wannabe sexy
Madiluvsyuh98 2
i meant off
Madiluvsyuh98 2
im going to put up a different picture
J1hill33 12
151 your bio says do whatever so no one needs your permission
whitesox365 0
God, how I wish there was a font for sarcasm...
vabeach94 0
naww.. it's an opticle illusion..
GuessWhatKids 13
150- Try telling "You can't do that." to Casey Anthony.
dre_bro11 12
Wow 143. I've never seen anything like you before... it's like you're the only person alive with a negative IQ.
shannon1029 4
how is that possible, you've only had one FML posted?
raijenken27 5
l
iEatDinosaurs14 0
haha yay I'm not the only one who noticed that :D
LizzyTheCaliGurl 0
You should charge them extra for that!!
JiggaJayZ 16
What a shihty job
WCARlover 35
I lol'd inside a bit when I read this
chili10 18
how exactly do you laugh out loud inside a little bit?
xleanne_aLly 23
she's means, kind of laughed.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
122- when I click ur pic on my iPod it always change -.-
ChibiChibi_fml 28
It's not a matter of not understanding that part. The problem is that lol stands for "laugh out loud" do how does one laugh out loud inside? Laughing on the inside is kind of the exact opposite of laughing out loud.
alexistheboss365 0
hi five!!
j2awesome 0
LOI- laughing on the inside.
BaconDave 12
Make her pay...
littlemissFYL 5
literally. in total that will be $30.00 along with revenge, so in total that will all add up to...$30.00 ;-)
BaconDave 12
You could give her dog some chocolate. A lot of chocolate.
cimh 9
Why should the dog suffer? Chocolate is poisson for dogs!
dre_bro11 12
175, for real? Can you not read the sarcasm in 111's comment?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
24- u got xbox?
BaconDave 12
Are you flirting?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
maybe (: nah just curious bc if she had xbox I would add her she wanted but see in her pic she has a ps3 :p
Chickenfoot117 6
Say she got what she asked for.
woahwoahwow 9
You should just give it a trim. A horrible, ugly trim.
littlemissFYL 5
don't take it out on the puppyy:*(
woahwoahwow 9
Well, I highly doubt the puppy cares what his peers think of him.. so it wouldn't hurt the puppy. Just the owner, hopefully.
littlemissFYL 5
it's a proven fact that animals have feelings. if someone cut all of your hair off, I'm sure you'd feel embarrassed. gosh, I sound like an animal lover lol
woahwoahwow 9
They have feelings, yes. They desire affection, love, attention, and they remember pain and fright. But, they don't care about their haircuts.
shutterbug1190 14
I have 2 shitz, and actually they do seem to act embarrassed if they get shaved to short. they act really funny and seem uncomfortable and tend to hide in warm places. I dont know, it's weird. just throwing that out there :)
BIEBERSLAYER 10
**** it a least shaved dogs are funny to look at.
howslife123 0
not as funny as shaved cats though
moop256 10
well... did you in the end?
BaconDave 12
It'd be really hard to make the asterisk
TheRealHouse 7
Did the FCC mod this?