Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, after leaving for the city inspector to make sure everything was up to code, my husband and I remembered that we'd forgotten to take down the rope bondage setup and equipment in the closet. We came home to paperwork on the kitchen counter and the closet door open. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
aairborne52 0
can you say awkward?
ryankon518 3
dress to impress, well in this case undress
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (119)
jdfml90 0
Brilliant. Made the mortagers day too!
sourgirl101 29
So what's the price of the market after that peep show? "She's a brick...house!"
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Clever ;)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Hm, how long have you been married? Wives can usually tell their husbands' sexy-time tone of voice from their impress-a-stranger tone.
lovesteph3523 0
ohh..thats true.
KylAisAmazingG 0
was there not an unusual car parked outside your house?
hayd83 0
one in each hole lol
angrynegro7 16
I've seen pornos that start out just like that OP! Just run with it and see where it takes you! ;)
CaliGali 9
YDI for having a dirty mind instead of being responsible and remembering the mortgagor appointment lol hahaha use your dirty mind late at night OP!
UndiscoveredChao 0
I'd like to say this is bs...burning case I am wrong.. WTF HOW THE F DID U FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT??? "sorry Hun I forgot a stranger would be in our house today even tho there is a strange car outside and everything" NO!!!!
frootietootie 0
OP ur stupid YDI for assuming he even wanted to have sex with an idiot like u. man peeps like u make me mad.
boopityboppity 11
You know what makes me mad? When a supercilious ignoramus attempts to insult the intelligence of someone. However, when I look a second time, I laugh, because you tried to insult another's intellect, but you misspelled "probably," "totally," "you," and "people." Hypocrites should be subjected to "the Pain" from the Princess Bride.