Today, after leaving for the city inspector to make sure everything was up to code, my husband and I remembered that we'd forgotten to take down the rope bondage setup and equipment in the closet. We came home to paperwork on the kitchen counter and the closet door open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML
Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
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Top comments
DMA 11
“Structure in closet: NOT UP TO CODE. Chains 3/4 inch can cause unwanted pinching and even tearing. Suspension not rated higher than 110lbs, and judging from the family photos around the house, you are not within approved weight. Lastly, plastic around handcuffs is not BPA free.”
NormalJay 3
I’m a city inspector and I’ve seen a lot of shit in my days 😂
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Comments (14)
NormalJay 3
I’m a city inspector and I’ve seen a lot of shit in my days 😂
jkjorn 18
Care to elaborate?
devi_916 39
Do tell. We want stories!!
Inkoseh 33
Gotta remember, inspectors go into Hoarder homes, filled with cat piss and backfilled garbage. A few extra ropes in a closet is nothing!
DMA 11
“Structure in closet: NOT UP TO CODE. Chains 3/4 inch can cause unwanted pinching and even tearing. Suspension not rated higher than 110lbs, and judging from the family photos around the house, you are not within approved weight. Lastly, plastic around handcuffs is not BPA free.”
Charlie Given 28
Was the paperwork about swing improvements 🤣🤣
Tarlachia 33
“In-closet structure tested and deemed suitable for holding up to 200 lbs. Recommend a posted safety word to opt out of swinging activities. Recommended word: Inspector.”
chessu 21
How do you forget something like that?
Davros 12
He is now showing the guys at work the selfie he took of himself swinging.
TxKitten79 10
That's funny. My Husband and I would have laughed about it. seriously though, I'm jealous that you guys have a rope setup!
interesting33 37
that was bound to get you in a knot
demix_fml 32
Maybe it will help spice things up for them 🙂