Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, after leaving for the city inspector to make sure everything was up to code, my husband and I remembered that we'd forgotten to take down the rope bondage setup and equipment in the closet. We came home to paperwork on the kitchen counter and the closet door open. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
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Top comments
aairborne52 0
can you say awkward?
ryankon518 3
dress to impress, well in this case undress
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Comments (119)
kemolegend907 0
YDI for being a horny b*tch ... XD JK
kevinfenchak 0
he'll probably give you a better deal on that mortgage now, so not really an FML....
rejectreality101 0
sounds like the beginning of a poorly produced adult film
simons_fml 0
YDI cuz why the **** would u think ur hus wanted to have sex with u just cuz he calledbu tp the bed rm
boopityboppity 11
To be honest, I don't know why anyone would want to seem as though his or her IQ could be counted on two hands. But hey, 40, you go right ahead and make that appear true. And have a banana.
cole86 0
u totally deaerve it
jeZuss 0
YDI for wanting DA DICK!!!
perdix 31
When the mortgagor saw you, he likely devalued your house by tens of thousands of dollars until your husband assured him he'd get an exterminator to eliminate the infestation.
bcovi 0
that's funny, you little freak
FML191919 3
Awwwwwww that SUCKS!!! All i can say lol
colleen2920 0
doesn't take much for you to get excited eh?