Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
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Top comments
shananigans 0
I'm probably the only freak who thought the most interesting part of this FML was the OP's use of the word necking. Oh and your dad wins.
24788 7
I don't know if I approve of you seeing this Jake guy in subject.
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Comments (109)
whataloadofbull 0
Ouch. Dunno how your dad knew that but that sucks... my first first EVER btw XD
neonokku 0
maybe she's not in college yet. o_O
iGreen_Day 0
Whoof, can you say 'pwned'?
Reyo 2
Maybe you shouldn't be giving your innocense all willy-nilly...
azreal_13 0
#47 yes you can :)
osnapitzkay 8
Oh My God. I love your profile pic
Shokz992 0
Well done you. Cookie?
24788 7
I don't know if I approve of you seeing this Jake guy in subject.
NewMetalGirl 14
Was it jake from State Farm?
justindrew14 29
^ OMG OMG IM DYING RIGHT NOW I FUCKIMG LOVE YOUR COMMENT I WISH I COULD LIKE THIS MORE THEN JUST ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BangOut 2
Pics or didn't happen
TomasT 0
That's one cool dad!
HamsteronA 0
that's one uncool avatar!
Sky1K 2
Haha owned
CallMeHush 1
Dear Old Dad FTW!
Spac3Ghost 0
your parents listen to you cum with jake for two years!? and they didnt bust in on you!? (assuming you have been made guilty by jake more than once) =) hahahaha your parents are awesome =) im very jealous!!!
npk88 0
these actually sound like some of the coolest parents ever. If they have been married long enough to have a teenager and still make out in their living room....yeah; that's hot.
Quacki 0
I think she means he was her boyfriend from two years ago.
shananigans 0
I'm probably the only freak who thought the most interesting part of this FML was the OP's use of the word necking. Oh and your dad wins.
nmlutgen 11
I agree haha
applebranch 0
Agreed! Who says "necking" these days? No one, that's who. :P
redbluegreen 41
I say necking... D:
Starfire22 5
Redbluegreen! I missed you!!!
Starfire22 5
I missed you!!!
greenltrn2003 0
although the word is awesome...its nothing compared to actions
Bojanglies 0
I'm a chicken. I say 'wattling'
redbluegreen 41
I missed you too my dear.
Sirin_fml 47
We've all missed you, Starfire.
Splayd 10
I would say "necking" if I thought of it.
WTFsGoingOn 0
That's the great things about dads, they always throw out the last thing you ever expected to hear from them.