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May United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

mshoes12346 3

did he name his dick spock too? ;)

well that's disturbing.

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Comments (242)

oklahomaguy 0

Sure I can, I ducked a girl one time also but i don't recommend trying that, but it's kinda gross and stinks more then the dog I bang

Girls are always a last resort. I don't look down on you for doing it, but I am still disgusted.

oklahomaguy 0

Try masterbating with a fist full of lunch meat, it feels kinda like the time I ducked my grandparents cow

Have you ever ****** a cow patty? it feels the same and you don't have to worry about getting kicked in the nuts.

I bet his warp speed engaged =0

fakeaccountX 6

I imagine Picard's bald shiny head would get anyone going.

Time to break up

You my friend, are dating sheldon cooper.

What are you waiting for. Give his warp engine a good kickstart! (no really, fyl!)

O.0 well... theres only one thing to do in a situation like this...well mayb not. shit ur introuble! lmao :3