Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving her boyfriend's nuts. Apparently, he'd snuck in through her window. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
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Top comments
Darian66 5
I think its time to keep better track of what she is doing online.
sailorzoe 14
Maybe you should try to find her a hobby? Because that one is weird and gross.
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Comments (150)
smacky187 9
Did you teach her that?
mokielove 10
Omg
SanaSazi 32
Always edit your comments :-)
BellaBelle_fml 23
Sound advice.
redbandit9877 12
You could have walked in on something a lot worse, I'd make sure to knock before entering a girl's room, even if she is your daughter.
KLeePrice 11
She shouldn't be doing anything worse at 12!!
Mr_Satan 11
Shouldn't be and won't be are two veeeeeerrry different things
wjh100 13
well since she is 12, she probably doesn't realize that this is not normal behavior. and of course the FML doesn't state how much close she was wearing. honestly walking in on your daughter entirely naked and trying to queef is just ****** up. walking on her fully clothed and doing this just means its time to have the talk all parents dread
Zyzz7 12
What do you mean she shouldnt be doing anything worse? Lots of girls have already start puberty by that age, my girlfriend started her period when she was 8! It would be perfectly fine if she was exploring her body or masturbating, wouldnt be anything wrong or abnormal with that at all.
SaxophoneHero 12
Show her the SouthPark on queefing. I bet she will never do it again!
nh97103 9
Put a password protected filter on your computer. YDI.
EpicBlondie89 19
Because she may not have looked it up on her phone, another girls phone, someone else's internet......
FaygoAndMiracles 18
She might have trusted her kid enough not to do that. Some people will argue that you shouldn't trust your children blindly, but, perhaps she actually gave her mother a reason to trust her?
fgwrxfiend 11
Wow,just wow
ariana_mia 6
Lolll I wouldve laughed in her face.
CanadianCutie22 16
oh goodness
Julianne_sings 10
That's a must have been disturbing, OP. But like a lot of other commenters have said, you could have walked in on worse.