Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving her boyfriend's nuts. Apparently, he'd snuck in through her window. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
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Top comments
Darian66 5
I think its time to keep better track of what she is doing online.
sailorzoe 14
Maybe you should try to find her a hobby? Because that one is weird and gross.
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Comments (150)
\ 28
Teach her that queefers have no future!!
DudeEvil 22
If your children are doing weird shit that they saw on the internet/tv, it is YOUR fault! It's your duty to control what your children are exposed to.
DudeEvil 22
I imagine you to be an expert on watching someone 24/7, controlfreak! ;P But seriously, you don't need to watch them 24/7, but you don't need to give them unrestricted access to everything either.
KLeePrice 11
Its possible her parents have her computer, phone and any other internet device restricted. That doesn't mean they can restrict her friends devices..
EpicBlondie89 19
DudeEvil obviously doesn't have kids.
Bcfrmkc816 17
And that is absolutely right, not a bunch of stuffed over paid government people to decide what is good for us and what isn't
TheJester12 15
Being a young kid on the Internet will almost always lead to you doing things that will make you face palm later in life. Apparently BBC stands for more than just British broad casting company .
NickaPLZ 26
Bitches Be Creepin
Mr_Satan 11
To the people asking why she's being "allowed" to view such things online, take a moment and think it through. You can control what's viewed on your home pc, of course, but how many kids have their own smart phones these days? Obviously I can't give you an exact number, but there are most certainly enough that kids will see things you don't want them to. And that's just the first way that comes to mind. OP, being a good parent can be difficult, or awkward, and often times both. It all comes down to communication. I certainly can't tell you what you should say, but I'm sure you can figure it out.
travinator90 9
Oh the things people can learn from the Internet...
OwlPrincess28 7
What on earth does she look up online?
BellaBelle_fml 23
Queefing apparently.
DommeAshlee 11
I actually learned about the queef in health class when i was 11. I had ZERO interest in attempting it though.
bosox17 6
Wow
dragonflyy_86 7
You sould've left with a fart
Jacksparrow72 21
Damn, twelve? Shouldn't she be playing eith barbies still?
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Even though it's fine for 12-year-olds to play with Barbie's, most don't.
Zyzz7 12
uhhhm, 12 year olds dont play with barbies..... well, maybe a handful off odd ones do, but most girls would be more social by then