Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving her boyfriend's nuts. Apparently, he'd snuck in through her window. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
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Top comments
Darian66 5
I think its time to keep better track of what she is doing online.
sailorzoe 14
Maybe you should try to find her a hobby? Because that one is weird and gross.
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Comments (150)
WICKEDxANGEL 13
Lol this just cracked me up, I'm sorry
sythe511 28
I don't know about you guys, but my router can block access to sites that have certain keywords in the url. it is quite useful.
xKeroseneHearts 9
Eww. That's gross. Sorry.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Might want to figure out exactly which website she used to figure that out. She might have just watched some comedy show with more adult-oriented humor, but, it could also be some weird **** site, which is probably not what you want your 12-year-old looking at.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Or more then likely she got the idea from one of her friends who said they did it and explained how. And that it's easier for her after sex which is what you should be more worried about.
chuckcloninger 12
I actually had to go to Google to see what this is. What a gross little kid if this is what she aspires to and has no shame about doing it in front of her mother. Perhaps it is time to take the computer out of her room and get a tracking program to find out what else she's getting into.
cptverderosa 11
?
desertpunk75 11
Time to disconnect the router and mobile internet.
stevothedevo 25
That's disturbing.. Fyl op
leggie913 6
Reminds of a time I found a list of things my daughter intended to accomplish in her jr year; lose her vCard. It was a difficult conversation to have!
cetlawizard 15
Time to block everything except what is appropriate for a 12 yr old online or just simply take away her Internet access. You are responsible to make sure your child is not able to access such material...before you know it she'll be watching pedophiles expose themselves on omegle, chatroulette or some other adult oriented site,(like my @ the time 15 yr old daughter did until I blocked the sites directly on from my router & I also included tumblr so no matter what browser she used or her phone's wifi...she couldn't access these sites)