Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML
Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's Facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the two-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Daaniellee1234 8
I dont even see the sarcastic humor in this. What an asshole of a cousin aswell.
lettertjes 0
I don't see the humour either. Can someone explain the joke to me?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
carkel 0
well, that's just a weird thing to put as your status..
thesunshotme 0
Wow, all this over a facebook status. 'Spose we should all limit our status' to something crystal clear, politically correct, and "usual"....
Nakedsquirrel 5
OP may not be retarded for thinking it was remotely funny, but certainly is for setting something like that as her status. Of course it's going to be misinterpreted, dumb ****. Sarcasm can't be seen from a mile away, but that should have.
BikerMike 0
Your cousin is a dumb **** for not getting the joke and spreading the misunderstood line. You are a dumb ass for using facebook/myspace/twitter.
bridgetoparadise 0
Half YDI for putting something silly and easily misinterpreted as your FB status, but half FYL for having an awful cousin. Who would do that srsly.
marc_with_a_c 3
Stupid cousin.. but with facebook, when you post something that can mean more than one thing, always assume at least one person will think it means the worse situation possible.. in this case: you being pregnant
BringBackSunday7 0
Clearly your around 15 years old, the last two sentences dont even make sense nor follow basic grammar. If this were even remotely true, she would have called and TOLD them you were pregnant. Once again, she didnt call your husband in Iraq because that's not possible. "She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. " Do everyone a favor and shut up.
schatzelle 0
Just cause her husband is in iraq doesn't necessarily mean that he is in the war. A lot of people actually live in that country you know.. and they don't all live in tents and ride camels. you'd be surprised. i mean. some houses over there even have TIVO! shocked aren't you?
RoxyRaccoon 4
Win.
toolupes 0
You want to talk about basic grammar... learn the difference between your and you're.
RoxyRaccoon 4
And dear, I happen to be fifteen, and am appalled at your grammar.
BringBackSunday7 0
Oh I bet you feel really smart now.
BringBackSunday7 0
I hate to break it to you, but you have no idea what your talking about. So stop trying to be a know it all and act like you know the whole story, because no one on here does.
BringBackSunday7 0
And dear, I happen to be fifteen, and am appalled at your grammar. #89 - On 12/21/2009 at 10:29pm by RoxyRaccoon - reply Send a private message I can tell because that entire sentence right there is completely screwed up. You happen to be at fifteen? Try again.
RoxyRaccoon 4
When you're talking about your age, you say "I'm AT such-and-such amount of years?" Good lord, ya weirdo.
lifeinhd 3
In French, you would say "I HAVE 15 years." Go figure.
thesunshotme 0
Ok, lets examine that sentence shall we? Personally, I think english grammar is a constantly evolving system. Today's rules will be obsolete soon enough. But I'll play along. "And dear, I happen to be fifteen, and am appalled at your grammar" Beginning the sentence with "And" is acceptable. It's informal usage of the conjunction, but in this case it's more efficient, and more powerful, than merely beginning the sentence with "dear". Journalists and authors do this. "happen to be __blank__" ^^ A common phrase. I don't see the problem with it; any noun phrase or adjective works. Since the phrase is frequently used to describe the subject's current state of being, why can't age fill in the blank? Besides, in the blank, noun phrases and adjectives are more common than prepositions, which you prefer. "and am appalled" The subject "I" is preferred, but not necessary, as it's understood that she is still referring to herself. An ellipsis does only refer to ". . ."
RoxyRaccoon 4
Thank you.
thesunshotme 0
Ya no prob. 'Tis good practice for writing papers and acing the SATs...
Epinephrine_fml 0
You totally deserved it. It is obvious that you did not make your statement clearly on facebook. What you put there can means a lot of things. When I first read it, I thought you were pregnant. You deserved it!