Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML
Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's Facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the two-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
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Top comments
Daaniellee1234 8
I dont even see the sarcastic humor in this. What an asshole of a cousin aswell.
lettertjes 0
I don't see the humour either. Can someone explain the joke to me?
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Comments (108)
BringBackSunday7 0
I know right! haha I figured she was pregnant. It is true though, you cannot call a soldier, the phones are used by all and theres never a guaranteed number.
RuralNinja 0
I guess you've never heard of Skype.
BringBackSunday7 0
Maybe you don't understand, or your just an ass. I have a brother in Iraq, you cannot just "get on" and talk to them when you want. They need to be online and there are time limits, everyone else wants a turn too , unless you have the internet in your room which unfortunately the soldiers have to pay 70 dollars a month for there is never a way to get ahold of someone first if they aren't online. So that means the cousin did not call him and tell him. She could have seen him online and gone for it , but no she didnt call him in Iraq.
ruckerpark364 0
who cares! your not pregnant so its not a FMl
Boxingsweets 0
You're missing the point. The OP's cousin called her husband and told him she was pregnant. Who knows how long he's been away at war? He could assume she's cheating on him. I think you should read into it a little more next time, eh?
watchasay71 4
notice how their dp is of cartman/hitler, so the tv shows that they watch might have impaired on their personality and so thats why they're such a ******* maybe?
mamk 0
You definitely should have made your point a little more clear for those fucktarded cousins!
sojewtastic 0
You really can't call anyone in Iraq, they have to call you, sooo...shenanigans.
afrikaaner 0
Oh Whatever! Are you American by any chance?
Emperor_Jim 0
No, he's talking about people stationed in Iraq. They can't recieve phone calls. The can only call out with prepaid phone cards. Also, I'm sure it's been mentioned somewhere, but YDI for posting important, possibly misunderstood information on facebook.
Stotan1228 0
But you can get on the internet and chat.
greeneye_fml 12
What kind of stupid status update is that? YDI
waterynuggets 0
This
HBubble 3
Your cousin is an idiot. You should have a serious word with her.
rosiegrewup 0
And that word should be written upon your fist.
watchasay71 4
^^ exactly
AntiChrist7 0
Facebook= YDI
miss_california 0
i'm surprised how many people are saying that her comment sounds as though she actually was pregnant! to me it seems obvious that it's just a random funny thought and really, it's probably a joke that has been made a billion times before (my mother and i make fun of the expression "family planning" as a euphemism for contraception, because obviously it's used by people planning NOT to have a family). as for the cousin maybe not being familiar with Planned Parenthood in the first place, surely it is clear from the joke that the organisation has something to do with unplanned pregnancies. i think the cousin is a dummy, especially for telling the husband!
OCDagain 0
Dude! I am so sorry, that SUCKS! D: *free hug* :(