Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML
Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's Facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the two-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
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Top comments
Daaniellee1234 8
I dont even see the sarcastic humor in this. What an asshole of a cousin aswell.
lettertjes 0
I don't see the humour either. Can someone explain the joke to me?
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Comments (108)
IOwnedYou 0
Yeah, because she definitely gets to choose her family members. Jesus Christ, people these days... -_-
countrygirl0118 6
wow, seriously fyl. if i were you, i'd call your husband FIRST tell him it was a joke on facebook, and that she has no idea what she's talking about. second, call everybody else she told a lie too, and tell them that she inadvertantly told a lie because she's too stupid to see that it was a joke/ sarcasm. third, next time you see her, publicly point out that she doesn't have enough brains to interpret a joke and/or punch her in the face (if you cannot restrain yourself, and if i was in your position i could not). i hope your husband understands and that your cousin learns a lesson about running her mouth when she has no-clue what she's talking about. Happy Holidays.
Starfire22 5
Op, please don't listen to countrygirl0118's advice on punching your cousin! I can see how having "it should be called unplanned parenthood" as a facebook status could be taken as the op is pregnaut. The op's cousin could have thought that the op just found out she was pregnaut and hadn't planned to have a child. The op shouldn't be mad at her cousin, it was a honest mistake. The cousin could have just called the ops husband to congradulate him. Of course, if it were me, I would have called up my cousin first to congradulate her and make sure she had told her husband before calling the husband. So just call your husband and explain the situation, I'm sure he will understand. As for your cousin, explain to her that you were making fun of the organization and clarify that on your facebook! If someone puts a status up on facebook, they are making it everyone's business so, in the future, be a bit more careful on what you put on facebook and think about how your status could be taken as.
girlygirl666 0
It's P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T.
watchasay71 4
why shouldn't she punch the cousin? my advice was beat the shit out of them the next time i saw them.
AmeOwl 0
Why should people think she's pregnant just because she said the name was ironic?
AmeOwl 0
For future reference, you can now build your own networks on facebook with individualized privacy settings, so you can make it so that your cousin won't have access to everything you post.
mrsfc3s 0
Your husband must be in the Army...
BringBackSunday7 0
Too bad theres no way your cousin could call your husband in Iraq.
teiso_fml 0
It sucks that your friend made assumptions and then went and told everybody without asking you about it first, she had no right, on the other hand, I don't really see the sarcasm... what were you being sarcastic about?
k43L1 0
YDI hands down. it's facebook. what the hell did you expect? think about what you're writing next time and how it might be interpreted by someone else.
demon6 0
I understood the joke. Your cousin isn't very sharp, is she? ^_^ lol
BritishHobo 0
Who would find out their cousin is pregnant (yeah, I know she wasn't pregnant) and decide THEMSELVES to tell everyone? Didn't they ever think the pregnant person would want to tell, oh, I dunno, their husband and parents? Not really your cousins right to tell people.