Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML
Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's Facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the two-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Daaniellee1234 8
I dont even see the sarcastic humor in this. What an asshole of a cousin aswell.
lettertjes 0
I don't see the humour either. Can someone explain the joke to me?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
My2864 1
who the hell does your cousin think he is by informing them? thats YOUR job.. id kick his ass for making the mistake and being a ******
ugwmii 0
damn
tykiej 0
Dont you just love stupid-ass, loose-lipped retards who have no lives of their own?
kbourco 0
what a dumb bitch. if u were I'm prettttttty sure ur husband would know. what a ****
Beergirl87 0
whoop her ****** ass nosy Bitch
Mazi09 0
aha I always thought that too.
DeadxManxWalking 27
so her parents didn't plan her
athena3100 9
your cousin is a dumb ass…
ReddFawx 0
It's called planned parenthood because they offer contraceptives so you aren't accidentally a parent. So to call it unplanned parenthood sounds like they're not doing they're job very well. Either that or they're just some abortion clinic. I'm with your cousin on this one.
Kayble89 13
Planned Parenthood helps millions of women each year by supplying AFFORDABLE birth control, condoms, STD testing, Ultrasounds, and just in general information. Planned parenthood is a godsend especially in hard times like these. YDI for trying to be funny when really you just came out sounding like an ass.