Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML
Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's Facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the two-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
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Top comments
Daaniellee1234 8
I dont even see the sarcastic humor in this. What an asshole of a cousin aswell.
lettertjes 0
I don't see the humour either. Can someone explain the joke to me?
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Comments (108)
bieberjonasculen 3
wow ur cousin is a real a**hole for that no offence like couldnt she or he ask u first or something stop being so got damn nosy even tho its ur facebook status what if u were and u wanted to tell everyone
bieberjonasculen 3
that u were pregnant
elictrogeek 0
way to rip off South Park
Vanita 1
Even if the cousin didn't understand the joke, the comment didn't have to be about the OP herself. -.-
PoeticPixie 0
1.) I get how you feel OP. I'd get pissed off and write lyrics or crap on my statuses, and apparently nobody in my family knew they were just songs, and my aunt called my mom frantically late one night, telling her I was going to commit suicide. 2.) I slightly don't believe this. I can understand if she had called all of your local family members, but it's pretty hard to get calls through to Iraq, especially if you're not immediate family.
Luna0709 0
dumb cousin but girl there's no sarcasm on the net unless you use *sarcastic*
AmbrosiaFan 19
Kinda curious as to why you have that as your status. If you cheated and needed PP for the morning after pill, it serves you right. I you were pregnant by your hubby and for some reason wanted to not be, serves you right. I'd have to know WHY you put it up there in order to say if YDI or that sucks.
sendthesparr 0
dont feel bad two people tried to tell my husband i was cheating on him while he was deployed to afghanistan. my downstairs neighbor had some balls two months after we were married my husband was still at home in bed next to me and the guy txtd me asking i what i was going to do about sex when he was gone, keep in mind this guys two daughters were flower girls for my wedding. about a week after my husband left he txtd a pic of me and a guy leaving my apt saying he's here all the time at all hours. the guy was my brother. my husband said yeah i know i talk to him half the time hes there. the other person was a friend of my husband's who a week before deployment pushed my husband into a pool fully dressed including his phone. and as a military wife you know how important his phone is before deployment due to all the information he needs well we tried to get this idiot to pay for the phone he damaged since insurance doens't cover water damage. well i guess to get back at me for asking for money he went around telling friends that i was cheating when i found out i asked if the supposed boyfriend i had was at least cute lol
IBeAwesome 0
Wow your cousin seems like a petty little bitch, whether she failed to pick up on the sarcastic humour or not. Why would she go around calling everyone in your family just because of that? Even if she thought you were pregnant she should have left the choice up to you to tell everyone. Little gossip queen.
kagexp 4
That's funny :D FYL for having a cousin.