Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and bust my head on the floor. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I managed to fell a tree perfectly. It landed exactly where it should. Today is also the day I managed to Whack-a-Mole in real life. FML
Today, at my local fishing tackle shop, some dumb kids got into a fight and knocked me over into a glass display case of antique fishing hooks. I’m now in hospital, not only from cuts from broken glass, but to have 27 barbed hooks removed from my hands, arms, and face. FML
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Top comments
sarawr 0
Am I the only one who is curious as to where the OP was that there was an old fashioned mole trap above him, and that he was answering a bunch of impossible questions? If anybody could offer any clarification I'd appreciate it. x3 ...otherwise it sounds like a weird gameshow.
null_fml 11
That whole situation is alien to me. I can't even figure out where you were that you "got a question right" underneath a mole trap. I've never even seen or heard of a mole trap before. Kudos to you for blowing my mind.
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Comments (131)
fkjiwefakris 0
ouch.
cutiepi 0
Where the f where you?
Rakayum 0
you are stupid.
GreenMeanie 0
why couldn't it of just landed on his skull instead :(
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
Yeah where r u? A mole trap? Really? Come on...
turtlemansam 6
YDI for being western
TheOptimist 0
He's Brit, you dumb shit, so that means he is from the east.
LordGoober 13
guess he was having school in an old shed/shack?
IamSpartacus 0
Lol, fail. And if I'm not wrong, second :) Cause this is obviously a race...the silver medal is still okay.
fkjiwefakris 0
oh, you can have the gold medal if you'd like it:o)
IamSpartacus 0
Yes! This is the best thing that's happened today.
Adamantoise 0
If that's the best thing that happened to you today, then fyl.
IamSpartacus 0
Well actually it was 12:32 AM when I got that message. So yes, for those 32 minutes, it WAS the best thing that has happened.
sarawr 0
Am I the only one who is curious as to where the OP was that there was an old fashioned mole trap above him, and that he was answering a bunch of impossible questions? If anybody could offer any clarification I'd appreciate it. x3 ...otherwise it sounds like a weird gameshow.
null_fml 11
Gameshow? Never thought of that. I can think of one that fits the situation though: Distraction (hosted by Jimmy Carr). But I don't think it still airs.
WTHIWWY 0
I was wondering the exact same thing
skybeau 0
That's exactly what I was thinking... It seems like a pretty weird thing to happen: "Sit under this mole trap while I ask you difficult questions." It's not exactly a normal part of the school environment. Ah well, I think the gameshow idea is better :)
redbluegreen 41
I'm trying to picture it in my mind, and all I can think about is watching like... Jeopardy in some sort of log cabin. Or, yes, some kind of terrifying gameshow.
Pepito92_fml 0
lol yeah spin the wheel of death and shit
genius_man16 1
I thought of Matilda when i read this actually. Like he was in that deathroom with all the spikes and the principal had come in and asked him some impossible question
scb197 0
that is called an iron maiden
imk3wl 0
#9 "sit under this mole trap while i ask you difficult questions" FUNNY STUFF MOFO
b182link 0
haha #9 I love that quote "sit under this mole trap while I ask you difficult questions" that made my day, I can't stop laughing cause it's so true!
Zakuraa 0
SAW IIIII, anyone?
Gnarlltrugg 0
>111 its funny because they've already passed that. they're on what VI or VII?
hypuuurness 6
10- that's exactly what I thought!
Lizardbits 0
111, you realize that IIIII isn't a roman numeral right? Its just a bunch of I's. Roman numerals are I II III IV V VI VII VIII. I don't remember what 10 is so I can't go past 8.
ObsessedWithGays 7
It's X you dumbtard (:
MichelleRuzicka 15
I'm a second year Latin student, so we use Roman numerals often. Nine (novem) is IX, ten (decem) is X, and so on.
LyricaSilvan 30
Wrong. In the movie it was called "The Chokey."
null_fml 11
That whole situation is alien to me. I can't even figure out where you were that you "got a question right" underneath a mole trap. I've never even seen or heard of a mole trap before. Kudos to you for blowing my mind.
blackdog_fml 0
hahahha fyl dude
funnyshit432 0
dayummm
RESTAREA 0
WHO WAS MOLE TRAP? And why was it hanging up? That's no way to catch moles :D
redbluegreen 41
I think I love you. :D
wienerwagon 0
I think I hate you.
Bear_Flu 0
I think FALCON PUNCH!!!!!!!
Zylos 0
Moles live in the ground why would there be a mole trap ABOVE you? Unless you were in a mole's hole in which case it still doesn't make sense that you would be answering questions in there. OR MAYBE your a mole person!!!!
lol_urlife_sucks 0
Lol if it was an antique...or old fashioned they wouldn't still be using it. They had it there for decoration?
vengeance501 8
decoration? "gee what nice mole trap!" "Well thank you!"
b182link 0
haha "now sit under it while I ask you difficult questions"
Ashleigh255 0
hahahahahaha!(:
Adamantoise 0
What the ****? Were you playing Trivial Pursuit in some old lady's attic?
xd0rkiee 0
YDI for punching the air. Wtf?