Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into my boyfriend's car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I went camping with my boyfriend. We were sleeping on a small slope. He got so drunk he peed in his sleep. I was downhill. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
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Top comments
ComTlancy 12
That was a piss-poor effort. Are you feeling a bit flushed? I'll stop the toilet humour now.
yahoowizard 16
Now if a jellyfish comes out of nowhere and stings your leg, you're set
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Comments (66)
doorick 4
You should have squated while you look a leak.. seems like a no brainer
adamo_erebus 26
this is why having a penis has its benefits
Let7396 0
fail. its common sense to squat.
bubo_fml 11
Your boyfriend's a cad. A true gent would've gingerly craddled you in his arms as you deficated all over his shoes & trousers. Next time, ask if he would be so kind...
Iellwen 12
Ah, but a true gentlewoman would not have "pissed" in close range of said boyfriend. ;)
matthewkato 5
You coulda hiked barefoot
kristena103 14
If u pee in the woods (if ur a girl) sit down like ur taking a poo and pee not pee standing up but dont pee actually
Meesersuperman1 4
Shutup. Don't be mad at you boyfriend because he didn't say anything that pleases you. He should be mad at you. It's like he's babysitting a potty-training child. Then you just complain.
Skymone 6
How did you get your shoes that wet??? Seriously, when the first few drops hit your shoes, didn't you think: "Hm, maybe I'm doing this wrong"? Also, what did you expect your boyfriend to say to make pee on your shoes better? :S
iameulogy 0
at least he didn't ridicule you mercilessly. that being his only comment means he really doesn't give a shit if you pissed on your shoes. that's love baby! lmao
TheYamBagga 5
Well it's true...what did you want him to say? "Here babe take my boots that won't fit you, I'll go barefoot" yeah right... And at least he was trying to make light of the situation, you're the retard that pissed all over yourself...you're lucky he didn't make fun of you cause I sure would've...piss poor performance on your part lady!!
unmagickalhippie 10
this is freaking hilarious..haha