Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going to ask out a girl I work with, only to find out that not only is she in a relationship, she’s also a lesbian. FML
Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML
Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML
Today, there was a new and extremely attractive girl at youth group, so I decided to introduce myself. Her reply was, "Wow, I've always wanted to meet a gay guy!" FML
Today, I found out my two favorite heterosexual female coworkers are cheating on their partners with one another. I kinda wish someone had invited me. FML
Today, my colleagues have been trying to play matchmaker between myself and the new girl at the office. I'll admit we share more similarities than differences from what I've learned so far, but I know something my colleagues don't: she's actively pursuing a guy through online dating. FML
Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML
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Top comments
missL1z 5
There's nothing wrong being just friends. Not everything have to lead up to a relationship with every cute person you meet. There's more than meets the eye.
LaColombianita 26
I told one of my co-workers I was lesbian and he finally stopped asking me out.
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Comments (130)
GohanRZ9 0
First..
GreenAppleDP 0
You're cool.
GohanRZ9 0
First?
michaelscott23 7
You are a failure of a person 3...
jomotto 3
Talk to your coworker and may be you guys can setup a Win to Win situtation
eminemop 0
*situation
boofgall 16
4- your picture creeps me out.
xSonic 9
Well it makes me horny
idiothater1 4
How can the first post be number 4??
LookOnBrightSide 12
4- What in your mind is a win-win situation? Care to elaborate.
LookOnBrightSide 12
4-What do you mean by win-win situation? Care to elaborate.
Jonkbaby 23
Maybe she just wanted her so badly. Or wants you? Threesome.
HairyPunisher 27
She's gay. OP's a man. I fail to see how a "win win situation" is possible.
zombiegold 23
#4 looks like that kid from Zoey 101.
Discombobulated9 12
This isn't really a FML situation, if I'm honest. She's not interested in you because of her sexual orientation, and it's not like you were hopelessly in love with her. Be thankful this wasn't a case where a straight woman turned you down. Wouldn't that have been worse?
ClassyCommando 13
1, 2, and 3 must have said "FIRST!" or some bullshit like that and got moderated. Or perhaps there is something more sinister at work.
ohmylanta22 5
Oh my god I was just thinking that 70! I think his name was Mark.
koolkat27 13
win to win? do you mean win win?
xbrit551 13
Three some
MyLoveDrunk 11
34- you, my friend, do not understand. ;)
yahoowizard 16
You see, OP is going to be converting the new coworker, and I'm not talking about religion here
zombiegold 23
39 - You know OP is a man right?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
maybe OP and co-worker turned her lesbian. or it was her way of saying **** off politely. just a thought..
lezzypride 2
NOT POSSIBLE...just sayin. I suppose he could try...but why put oneself through that kind of rejection?
TheBeastiest 6
Second. Lol. That sucks. Keep on looking.
GohanRZ9 0
Talk to the co worker?
Jonkbaby 23
more like talk to the hand" amirite?
KeyboardWarrior 10
Your 'amirites' suck.
markrs 0
Op: "Gosh, Shea gorgeous! Mmmm, now she's making out with that girl from the fifth floor! Look Bob, she's trying to turn me on!" "She's lesbian" Les-be honest, you weren't her type even if she was straight :p
missL1z 5
There's nothing wrong being just friends. Not everything have to lead up to a relationship with every cute person you meet. There's more than meets the eye.
imustbeinsane 2
This. Everyone always assumes that relationship is your top priority when in reality you're just trying to make some friends to talk to in class. It ******* makes an akward moment and makes you feel stupid. I know I went off on a tangent, but it just struck a nerve lol
missL1z 5
I can't agree more. With what OP posted it apparently showed he is affected by the fact she is/might be lesbian. This to say he might have other intention than just being friends. Why can't we all be friends?!
wugui 1
35-One reason: to get laid... then go brag about it.
ohSNAPyall 27
Transformers: Lesbians in Disguise
wickedgames 5
30- OP is a guy.
rattusrattus 19
@60: And men can't be friends with women?
ghostlilac 25
60 - If OP was a woman, there wouldn't be a problem because both of them would be lesbian.
VorpikeII 17
The pursue of a relationship does usually lead to getting laid, but what about those few times when you actually love the person more than just for sex?
wickedgames 5
67 and 69, I tried to to change my comment before the time ran out. I felt like a dumb ass when I realized they said "he" in their comment rather than "she" in regards to the OP. I'm sorry, that's my fault. The way I read the comment was, summarily: "I'm sorry your coworker thinks your a lesbian." So, please forgive me.
footballpro22 2
Transformers...,
TheBeastiest 6
She used to be straight but then she took an arrow to the knee
JapMASTER5000 0
This probably won't end well for you.
cBlackout 13
Are you in elementary school or are you new to the Internet? Get ready for a steady stream of downward thumbs.
Chad_the_Brony 0
Anyone who hates the 'arrow in the knee' joke has no sense of humor. Like how Rick Roll is annoying. I have actually downloaded the song and like it because I have been Rick Roll'd so many times. But I have to agree with 15. You have just signed your own death warrant.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
I use to use those skyrim jokes, then I took a ****** to the penis
tr0llz0r 0
How about '"she used to be straight, but then she took a ****** to the mouth." ?
Pentium_4 27
i'm a clairvoyant. i predict -500 rating
cocodecoeur 12
I'm going to... punch you in the face.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
never. again...EVER.
McDonaldsworker 4
Hey I used to be an adventurer like you, until I was offered this job as city guard. It's a much more stable wage and less dangerous plus I get to spend more time with my family and play more WOW. Ha ha ha
zombiegold 23
Congratulations #11! You are now the 28th millionth person to use this joke on the interenet! You win: A swift kick to the nuts!
Epictacos18 0
Wow Haters Gonna Hate a lot....
pm_sky 0
Your comment :are you in jr. high?
ICATiger 13
Please stop.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
For the love of god, make him stop!
ohSNAPyall 27
Isn't it an app / mobile glitch of some kind?
DrewFluIngle 10
JUST DIE ALREADY!
LaColombianita 26
I told one of my co-workers I was lesbian and he finally stopped asking me out.
ladyLALAA 29
Was that today by any chance?
gman90210 18
I would still be asking you out untill you did Go and see what a great time I would give ya
koolkat27 13
Unless you actually are a lesbian, i wouldve told him the truth.