Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, I got into my boyfriend's car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
For men, the world is our porta-potty. For women, well you're pretty much screwed.
chillyCholo 5
Was he as excited as you were?
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Comments (77)
DocBastard 40
For men, the world is our porta-potty. For women, well you're pretty much screwed.
CareFace 16
Ahhhh yes, the joys of being man.
zachherbert 10
Having a boyfriend is like peeing yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling from it...
MaCOOLiT 5
Op, Sounds like you need to be spayed.
RaggleFrock 13
Sounds like you have a nervous bladder. I hope it doesn't happen again fyl
Jaxx66 21
Well Doc... That isn't completely true. I was locked out of my house once and I found that peeing behind the shed works great. Too bad the dog didn't like that once she found out. Took her days to finally cover it up.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
And I thought dogs were the only ones to pee on themselves when they get excited (;
twifan1901 0
30 no one time me, younger sister, and my parents were in the mall my sister saw buzz lightyear then proceeded to pee on herself in excitement
KeyboardWarrior 10
You should use punctuation how do you like reading this huh its a run on sentence and it sucks to read by the way it's my younger sister my parents and I and you need at least two periods in your comment and probably a few commas tell me when I should stop because you are probably wanting to take a breath right about now but I don't have any periods so ha
desireev 18
If I have to pee that bad, I have no shame in walking behind the house and doing my business! Thank God for on-the-go Kleenex! :)
thiscrazything 1
And large bushes. Especially the kind with big, absorbent leaves.
holly1398 5
she shoulve just gone in the bushes in her backyard P:
hellbilly205 17
39 i have no problem reading a run on sentence as i write most of my sentences in run on form, who cares about puntuation its FML not highschool or a job application...
periwinkle95 10
You guys, I know this is completely off subject. But please go watch this video on YouTube named "Kony 2012". Let's make a difference and complete this mission. You'll know what I mean once you see the video. Thanks so much!
TwinArmageddons 4
What I she doesnt have a backyard or their neighbors can see into the backyard??
TwinArmageddons 4
What I she doesnt have a backyard or their neighbors can see into the backyard??
AnagenisisZagus 13
39, how the hell would I need to take a breath? I don't read FMLs aloud....?
jbloogle 10
I didn't know women used tp to wipe themselves after they peed till like a few years ago. It didn't cross my mind since I don't have to but I guess it makes sense lol.
chillyCholo 5
Was he as excited as you were?
IAdminIFlow 0
hes like.. oh hey honey what are you doing outsi.... wtf is that smell!?
labudamike 6
Someone needs diapers
TheElderTROLLZ 15
I bet he pee'd himself in excitement, too. I know I would!
myFMLname 8
read it backwards, and it still makes sense
Reddeaded 5
So close... Yet so far away.
sloopyreddress 0
LMAO!
tctheamazing 7
No, it wouldn't have been better.
fmlallthetyme 23
Forget the movie. The TV series was at least ten times better.
Brooksyp88 0
Squat
CommiesRus 0
When I'm Russian to pee there's no time for Stalin.
ALLDAY88 8
^ made me lawl.
jacquay09 3
You sir, are a winner!
ohSNAPyall 27
Or be social and ask a neighbor to let you use their potty!
22cute 17
Really! Just go in the shrubbery or something! Don't be a fool.
ashla1019 5
Omg! I laughed so hard.. Lol
BTSfanatic 0
'omg' lol gtfo ysb.
IAdminIFlow 0
ysb= you stupid bitch? i feel proud if i got that right
1awliet 8
Well at least you didn't do it in a public place :)
P374RD3D 9
WTF! I saw this FML had 10 YDIS, but then I refreshed the page and it only had 9.
Pixxio_O 11
Mind-******.
marryjaneex0 7
..so?
KeyboardWarrior 10
O RLY?
samikitty961 8
Cool story bro.
SecretMe00 5
It's done that to me too. Idk it might be a glitch or something.
MigraineurOfLife 15
...or could it just be the fact someone changed their mind & changed their vote to fyl?
mauguster 15
WTF I saw this reply and it was buried, and when I opened it, it was a waste of my time!
AnagenisisZagus 13
^Now you know not to read buried comments? Yay?
mauguster 15
Haha yes, but sometimes they the best ones.
micahsmommy 13
Usually boyfriends hope to excite you in other ways.
iamyummylicious 14
Maybe he's into golden showers.
japtch 15
If you were that desperate, why didn't you go to the neighbors? I'm sure they'd understand if you explained the situation.
cierraashlee 5
Or the bushes.
sincere14 9
he must be one hell of a boy friend to make you piss yourself