Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
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Top comments
CyclonePsycho 1
At least you stopped her from getting on the road and potentially killing someone. :D
lukewarmocha 0
naw...you could make up a pretty cool story.
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Comments (198)
nprugby11 0
Scars give you character...but get tested for any diseases and you should have smacked the shit out of her right then and there. Hell, anyone that tries to drink and drive should be beaten to a bloody pulp.
NewLight8421 0
at the top it says the OP is a woman ;) just say edward couldnt resist you and snuck in:P that sucks though.... p.s. TEAM JACOB xD
kyasariin 0
Vampire much?
mudkip_fml 0
TWIFAGS WILL RAGE WITH JEALOUSY.
NewLight8421 0
nope i love twilight and im leaning more towards werewolves :D
mello_love 0
No joke, the werewolves are HOT :D
AAAAHHHH12 2
Team Jacob! Hahahaha ;P
trankyfran 0
Wasn't there a story pretty similar to this a few weeks ago?
Pwibble 2
You saved someones life though! :) (probably).
deliapearl 0
better a bite mark than someone dead from drunk driving. twilight is for punks. tru blood rulz! does that make you a fang banger?
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Ooh. :O A vampiress >_> hopefully she didn't have any potentially life threatening disease :D
freddie_fml 0
Ouch. Sorry that happened to you. But you have my utmost respect for trying to keep a drunk driver off the road. Good for you.