Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
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Top comments
CyclonePsycho 1
At least you stopped her from getting on the road and potentially killing someone. :D
lukewarmocha 0
naw...you could make up a pretty cool story.
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Comments (198)
Luckysmurf 0
Thats not that bad. Just say it was a sex scar :) lol jk
drv7788 0
Press Charges, That'll learn her
irishkid25 0
YDI for trying to make a woman do something she doesn't want to
shostakovich 0
#25 — Gender SHOULD NOT matter, especially in a situation such as this. Frankly, I'm glad he tried to prevent her from driving. Does this mean I condone violence or discrimination against women? No; I just don't like drunk drivers.
shostakovich 0
...and I just noticed my post number is #52. A perfect foil to your #25.
irishkid25 0
it was a joke #52 and yes the OP did the right thing
shostakovich 0
My point remains.
llamingo 8
OP is a woman
OHMYGODATURTLE 0
When drunkies attack.
danielbudzynski 0
People are getting more and more cleaver with making up these FMLs but if the op didn't lie then blows for you. It depends if you're a guy or girl tho.
sBqOuMaBd 9
really? read the simplest thing under the OP's comment... #3402233 (91)it definitely is! (7020) - you deserved that one (568) On 07/01/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by Pelota (woman) - United States (California) I may be wrong, but every one of the posts from like the last 2 months shows Male or Female next to the Users name.... It Can't be that hard to figure out if it is a Male or Female... Try it, it could save a lot of people make comments about gender at least.
Colby_Colbert 0
ah man my $$ says you have AIDS
shostakovich 0
Unless she had some sort of scar in her gums that bled and mixed with the blood OP, he would not have obtained AIDS.
ohhhhshizzz 0
Two things: You don't get AIDS, you get HIV then if you don't take care of yourself you get AIDS. Second, unless it broke skin and she bleeds alot from her mouth, then she would'nt.
voveraite 7
*she* would not get AIDS, *she*! Damn, people, is it that hard to read the word underneath the FML specifying gender? Geesh!
AngelRaven89 0
This is why weed should be decriminalized. Potheads don't bite people =)
nattylight 0
god is great, beer is good and b*tches are crazy.
scorpiogirl666 0
What a great story to tell people. A drunk girl bit you. You should tell everyone you know. ...And everyone you don't know.
brunoisbeast 0
You did the right thing.
curryndricegirll 0
Really. You did the right thing. I wish there were more people like you.