Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
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Top comments
CyclonePsycho 1
At least you stopped her from getting on the road and potentially killing someone. :D
lukewarmocha 0
naw...you could make up a pretty cool story.
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Comments (198)
doof_fisch 2
Wear it as a badge of honor.
voveraite 7
I'll repeat myself here, and shout in caps, cause lack of elementary attention rubs me the wrong way! OP IS A WOMAN, OP IS A WOMAN! The comments about taking advantage of the drunken girl are quite retarded in this context. READ PEOPLE'S GENDER BEFORE COMMENTING CRAP! AAArgh
BannedDistress78 0
you sure you didnt get rabies or something from her?
BannedDistress78 0
how are we suppose to know that 'OP' stands for a woman? jeez just chill the f out lady lol
InigoMontoya 0
@137... So, you're saying she's a lesbian? Girl, boy, aids girl-boy or whatever, it doesn't matter; the point is this: I'd kick the shit out of, or make a grand effort to do so, to save my friends' lives, or to keep them from a dui. Take that scar as a badge of honor.
Dillybar 0
It says it right there... "On 07/01/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by Pelota (woman)"
TNEBlover 0
oh no NOT A SCAR!!!!! sarcasm its just a scar you'll be fine
dude3636 0
Hey obama sucks my dick
nicoleg_fml 0
that would be one hell of a story to tell your children.
AntiChrist7 0
Hope you knew her, or she was hot. otherwise it wasn't worth it.
tranekfny 0
Omg not a scar