Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
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Top comments
sodawater19 0
how do you not see the window is down? thats more of an FHL for having to wear an eye patch
xkaokaox 0
She should poke you in both eyes just for being stupid :[.
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Comments (115)
paleknight47 0
Awe dude... LOL that sucks... Eyepatches suck;)
randomxtremely 0
First!!!!! And u deserved it for trying to pull a prank on ur gf. Girls don't like it
DynamicDave 11
Aaargghh!!!! Yer life is effed, matey!
GrammarFailure 0
how the **** do you knock on windows to accomplish something like this?
megan3046 0
number 19 is a retard
hysterical 1
um.. like a lot of other people said, how'd you not notice that the window was down? I mean, even if you couldn't tell by looking (in which case you reallyneed your eyes checked), you would probably be able to hear them talking.. if she was with her friend, they were probably talking and you should be able to tell that there wasn't a window. >_>
jazzthefirst 5
i think this is wat happened.... ok so make a fist with ur left hand, now, stick ur thumb out foward a bit more and look at it (ur left hand) see? its plausible that the thumb can hit her eye but why didnt he c dat the window was open? BTW if i wer her i would like chase him until he falls and then i'd poke his eye... a pirate couple
Nate_F 0
that's ******* disgusting! D:
blinkingstarlet 15
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
umfmylife 0
how the he'll does your thumb hit her eye? how did you plan to bang on the window...?