Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML
Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her, "goddamn fucking Cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
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Top comments
misspulkadot24 17
This reminds me of when Spongebob pushed the sofa onto Squidward's foot. I always had to look away...not that I watch Spongebob...*bad poker face*
DocBastard 40
Hey, guess where the sensory nerves are? If you guessed the top layer of skin, you win the grand prize.
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Comments (94)
misspulkadot24 17
This reminds me of when Spongebob pushed the sofa onto Squidward's foot. I always had to look away...not that I watch Spongebob...*bad poker face*
rockstar362 8
Nothing when you're 12!! (Awaiting thumb downs and death threats)
MrBrightside21 20
18 - I'm not going to make a death threat. This way, you won't expect it when I do kill you. Haha. Just kidding. But seriously though.
theycallmekitty 13
18- You've never noticed all the adult humor in Spongebob? When I was little that stuff went waaaay over my head. When I watch it now I actually get all the jokes and it's hilarious.
FastidiousPear 6
YOU'RE DEAD 18!!
doglover100 29
I can't watch that scene. It's so gross.
eddeeezzyy 19
Yeah! Lol wasn't that the episode where Squidward wants to beat Squllium in the fancy house contest?
doglover100 29
Yeah. It was to have the fanciest house, he needed to move his couch.
Smartdumbblonde 27
What's wrong with spongebob? He's funny lol
jesustitts 20
Have you ever seen the splinter episode?? I can't watch when it goes in :| it's awful!!
SRU_Toronto 5
You're never to old for SpongeBob
GTAmax99 12
Did you get the snack?
GTAmerc 2
Alright, so I gotta say I've seen your name a couple times. It scares me every time at first, thinking it's me. Anywho, carry on good sir.
GTAmax99 12
Boo! Haha did I scare you?
GTAmax99 12
Well now I'm never eating pizza again -_-
fleeper 13
Yes. It's making me cringe.
lilhellian 27
Man up op.. It's only a layer of skin...
eddeeezzyy 19
At least he didn't step on a Lego...
iOceanus 18
"'Tis but a scratch."
KayBeeFFFixed 5
I agree with #3. Shouldn't even have felt that...
DocBastard 40
Hey, guess where the sensory nerves are? If you guessed the top layer of skin, you win the grand prize.
lilhellian 27
Doc did you not say something to me about detecting sarcasm.. This was meant with a hint of sarcasm
DocBastard 40
Sorry Hellian, I was talking to KayBeeFFFixed.
lilhellian 27
It's ok doc.. it's all good. :)
ColdplaySucks 18
What's the prize?
timjones 8
A Coldplay CD.
kra1985 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If you cant get a midnight snack with your girlfriend in your moms house with her knowing you must be too young to have your girlfriend at your moms house that late anyway
lilhellian 27
They could be in a bad way financially.. And OP just wants to be considerate and let the mom sleep..
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
I just assumed he didn't want to wake his mom because it was midnight
U_GotitDude 18
Something similar to this has happened to me before. I know that pain :( FYL OP.
license2chill 5
I had similar experience before, it was also late at night and I was looking for food, I kicked the sharp corner of a hard wood furniture with bare toes by accident, I felt something was screaming inside my body...
yoursucklives 36
something similar happend to me, but not only was the top layer of my skin taken off, but my toenails too.
FlamingTacos 7
At least you got your granola bar
funky2525 14
Ouch!!! That probably feels like stubbing your toe except 10 times worse! Sorry Op
XxDevilxXGt 26
It probably feels like getting your skin scraped off. Cannot compare using units of stubbed toe!
XxDevilxXGt 26
It probably feels like getting your skin scraped off. Cannot compare using units of stubbed toe!
KM96 24
It might be a closer comparison to compare accidentally grating your finger / hand, but 10x worse
iOceanus 18
Oh God, that sounds incredibly painful...
Smartdumbblonde 27
Ouch, that must've hurt. Just think of it this way, it could of been way worse
LolPieRofl 11
Explain.
BongRipsForJesus 7
*Could've.
Smartdumbblonde 27
Well it could've pealed off more than one layer of skin to where it started bleeding, or from the bottom of the door, it could've broken a bone in ops foot (by smashing a bone in his foot down and breaking the bone in half).
TheFirstSamurai 18
I just felt the ghost of your feet pass through my feet.