Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
Snap!
Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML
Pick me!
Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
What are you doing?
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Malfunctioning equipment
Today, at work, my front-close bra popped open like an anime character, right in front of the two male coworkers I was talking to. My boobs flung around and I had to pretend nothing happened while subtly crossing my arms and waiting for them to leave so I could fix it. FML
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
Top comments
jasony0423 0
You're a classy woman, aren't ya?
IIRoxieII 12
Saving it for later?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
Boston_4_Life 3
A girl shouldnt be spitting loogies...
_MidnightLuna_ 17
Honestly, NOBODY should be spitting loogies. It's f*cking disgusting, and incredibly unattractive.
kei1108 13
11- Oh but boys should? Grow up and research feminism (not man-haters or sexism.) 21 - I agree with you! 25 - then spit silently into a tissue in a bathroom. You don't have to spit it out for everyone else to see. It's inconsiderate. Please don't.
littletinyME 5
105- she might have been in a bathroom. Doesn't clarify.
syed121417 22
I personally don't like it when people spit loogies because I find it disgusting, but sometime people just feel the need. But the whole "a girl shouldn't do it" was unnecessary. It's not more attractive when a man does it and women don't always have to be clean. We're people who do gross things, too, man.
kookysoc 11
What does hock a logie mean!?
dominic1221 6
first of all it doesn't say "logie". second of all, what the frig does "google it" mean?
TalkingTowelTim 0
It's when you cough up mucus. You usually get a lot with stuffy noses.
Sixers01 0
16 - Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that i do want you as a fan! I just dont want you to do some crazy shit, i seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick. Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid. They found a tape in the car but didnt say who it was to, but come to think of it, his name was.. It was you.. Dayum...
Enslaved 38
37, great song!(:
AnthonyN 5
Eminem
Okayitwasme 0
It means search the Internet on your computer devise and find out on your own, because asking on here is lame! Not that it matters much! Some comments on here are lame too. Lol
CharliesCool2084 8
16 - Not all of us are American, here in England we wouldn't have a clue what 'hock a loogie' means, don't get so menstrual about it.
efemel94 7
Quite right, sir.
hclover 0
I ask the same thing
ChaosAngel17 14
That's quite the shot you have there.
goodfella925 0
Your hawt;3
RedPillSucks 33
Plus, she's a gramarian to two languages. Your =/= you're
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
51- You have officially made it on my list of FML creepers! Congrats!
heyitskenziee 3
That's quite disgusting.
desireev 18
I know that, sometimes, you have to do it. But use the restroom or something! Not very lady-like at all! YDI
Amrel 10
When i spit i make sure im alone or i tilt the top half of my body at 45 degree angle and fire away
20th_century_fox 3
Rose: Teach me to ride like a man. Jack: And chew tobacco like a man. Rose: And spit like a man! Jack: What, they didn't teach you that in finishing school? ~Titanic
ShyAnn29 15
That part is funny!
lizzy33 0
That's so funny I love that movie !
mama2b3 20
This happened to me once, except it also went all over my chin and my newborn baby's head...
taaaaaylor 0
Why would you do that within reach of your baby?
ladyLALAA 29
Maybe she was unable to put the baby down at the time, calm down.
TheHaHaNoGuy 5
maybe it's just me being British, but I don't understand a word of the first sentence of this fml
TheJester12 15
inconspicuously= trying to do something without being noticed. hock= to spit. loogie= the disgusting mixture of mucus and spit that went down her bra .
cja101 8
27 I'm British and understood it
OctoberRainfall 13
Me neither, I'm British too
NKG7896 3
Sexy.
ImInYourFACEbook 8
Yeah...I think this should remain Victoria's secret.
Burrito_Time 5
Did you lick it back up!!!!!
yoursucklives 36
don't you think it's weird to put !!!!! at the end of a question!!!!!!
soleen_fml 0
You look sexy;)
Burrito_Time 5
It's funny how people trip for the smallest shit!!!
ThecomingofTan 9
Sir, they only flip out because they want your sweet ass.
KaeSAL 11
Someone raped the exclamation point key.