Courtney
Reserved
Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
pantyripper
Essendon, Australia
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
fryebaby623
Vero Beach, United States
Snap!
Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML
Anonymous
Pick me!
Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML
Anonymous
Barrie, Canada
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
What are you doing?
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Alyxandrea Loffer
Ellsworth, United States
Malfunctioning equipment
Today, at work, my front-close bra popped open like an anime character, right in front of the two male coworkers I was talking to. My boobs flung around and I had to pretend nothing happened while subtly crossing my arms and waiting for them to leave so I could fix it. FML
Kurda
Wallburg, United States
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Itsbeen8years
Stupava, Slovakia
Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML
brooke
United States
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
Top comments
jasony0423 0
You're a classy woman, aren't ya?
IIRoxieII 12
Saving it for later?
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Comments (80)
IIRoxieII 12
Saving it for later?
moop256 10
Giggity
melchibr_fml 0
I wish I could come up with a comment but all I can think about is boobs.
chillyCholo 5
People's weird fetishes nowadays..
Inheritance 10
Yummy
NKG7896 3
Sexy.
shanemaximo 7
I have such a raging boner right now.
wheel4deal 5
47. Do u think that's funny?
heilheather 7
47's pic matches his comment
grapisy 8
That does seem pretty realistic. I've seen a girl in my class with her phone, ipod, headphones, a couple of pens, and an unopened bag of chips shoved in her cleavage.
GovernorGeneral 8
Her cleavage probably opens to another dimension. I know mine does.
gojira666 7
New nickname "loogie ****"
reapermw2 0
I take it there wasn't much room left for what her bra was intended to hold?
absolutegrrr 7
Being a brit, I literally have no clue what 'hock a loogie' means...
abbyhoneywaffles 11
117- It's when you clear your throat and thick spit comes up & sometimes it has mucus in it. Guys in middle school used to do it all the time at recess and then spit them on the fat girls at our school. :(
Daiyuki 5
That's such a coincidence, I have a raging clue right now
MattRoseen 12
90% of people won't get the South Park reference. I commend you.
yuppthatssme 0
Nigga wtf ew .
raghavfyl 0
fight me
xbrit551 13
Better than ashing a cigarette and the cherry going down your bra. Hurts like hell.
buck33 14
Well... That's hot?
Ohmie 5
Don't smoke, problem solved.
THEKAISER 4
Do you use your chest as an ash tray?
xbrit551 13
No... I was in a car and ashes it out the window and the wind blew it back in......
flipfloperson 5
Nature obviously didn't want your ashes.
Wederoney 16
OP and 3 - You're doing it wrong.
chubby_choco 17
My ex did that. XD I told her it was her cue to stop smoking.
Dudelike89 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Girls =/= hawking loogies.
flockz 20
i'd rather falcon a loogie instead.
Isaac_The_Man 0
That's not sexy..
Dudelike89 8
35-I tip my hat to you.
PaulB123 11
Well there's a solution if you want guys to stop staring!
daminantion 14
I find this hard to ********** to.
nuggetmonster 12
And how exactly do you inconspicuously hock a loogie? Those are hard to keep quiet.
Epsilonyx 15
I'd imagine if she tried it, it'd resemble quietly gagging on an invisible penis.
SW500 13
Well I've managed to...it just has to be rather loud with nobody paying attention to you...
CallMeBloo 31
Yeah, seriously. If you want to get it away from your body- which is generally the point- you gotta hock it loud and proud.
jasony0423 0
You're a classy woman, aren't ya?
biggestfan23 11
That's a definite ydi and a definite turn off
MrSassypants 34
Yes because OP is clearly trying to turn on FML commenters.
flockz 20
i jizzed when she said bra. is that normal?
RetardedChipmunk 7
Always premature, eh flockz?
MrSassypants 34
Immature* flockz is not premature. He lasts pretty long. I know from "second-hand" experience. ;)
flockz 20
that song would apply to me, but i never wear pants.
infinitii 0
I guess that's one way to begin foreplay.
efro4472 1
Yup her boyfriend can lick it off
wittygirl 8
Epic fail there xD