Anonymous
Barrie, Canada
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
sheridan.ashley
Australia
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
davincourt
Apollo Beach, United States
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Katie
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
United States
The Bathtub Incident
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Ese
Ewwwwww
Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML
good big sister?
Sault Sainte Marie, Canada
Sleep demon
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
Anonymous
Sudbury, Canada
If it's brown, let it float around.
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
shitface
Australia
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
qwerty
Today, I found out my little sister took a picture of me taking a shit and showed it to her friends. FML
Melissa
Badmouth Strikes Again
Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML
Top comments
arano 29
Lmao. Shitblossom.
juicy_extasy 25
Take it out of your mouth and stick it on her face. Ew!
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Comments (65)
juicy_extasy 25
Take it out of your mouth and stick it on her face. Ew!
couchcat 25
Or he could just put a lock on his door....
whatunicorn 17
^umm.. OP is a girl, hence the symbol at the top.
bandgeek109 13
cymbal
ad1836 19
LOL Siblings
arano 29
Lmao. Shitblossom.
Lalala579121 28
Yeah, that's a new one for me.
hellnosucka 27
new favorite insult.
crackajak 15
"Hey how's your little sister?" "She's blossoming" "Awww like a beautiful flower!" "No, like a steaming pile of shit."
Mahcookiez 15
The insults are getting better each time
proudsock 17
the thought of this makes me want to gag.
katelng09 16
Haha shitblossom. I have to use that more often.
Emmamazing 26
Okay, this calls for serious revenge!
tiggerlover100 27
What a lovely thing to wake up to. But seriously OP that's disgusting and you should make sure your sister understands that not okay. I can't imagine how she'll act when she's older and she sleeps over at a friends house. Educate her before she has no friends lol
disturbedchyk 11
or before she does something like that and gets the shit kicked out of her!
Alexandria79 22
shitblossom. ..good one haha
TrippingOnAcid 29
What is hocking a loogie, exactly? Is it spitting? Nice use of shitblossom!
obliviongillette 18
That's what I'm wondering. I thought it maybe meant flicking a booger. :0
higgysaurus 18
its coughing up phlegm that has gathered in your throat and then spitting it out
Xion0014 20
How do you not know? It's snorting phlegm and spitting it
By_The_9 13
would you like some toast with that lung butter?
disturbedchyk 11
it says on #10s profile that she's from England and maybe they don't call it that over there
HannyButterfly1 7
I am from England and I do not know what this is either :/
8Dirty1 24
awesome! ha