Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
poccocurantes 7
Banging your boyfriend till he walks funny. Somehow I don't think that's what he had in mind.
Bliss391 7
I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how sitting on his belly would be cute. It really just sounds uncomfortable.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
jasonman66 7
How did you manage to knee him in the balls is my question...
jasonman66 7
How did you manage to knee him in the balls is my question...
howdeedoo 22
I think we get your point
Jordan740 6
How did you manage to say that three times is my question...
lilhellian 27
My question is, why haven't the mods deleted two of them yet?
micahdunk 13
I don't get why that would be cute. Whenever someone tries to sit on my tummy I just end up having to go use the bathroom.
sleepinginclass 8
It's cute if the person doing it is 5!
_krystallynn_ 11
so do people try to sit on you often?
cryssycakesx3 23
saying tummy isn't cute either.
ICastillo 25
You know what makes the pain go away...a bj. I'm just saying a unexpected knee to the balls is painful.
80skid 15
As opposed to an expected knee to the balls, which feels great?
ICastillo 25
Well if it's expected you have a chance to deflect it. The blows that hurt the most are the ones you don't see coming.
SirCharles83 13
Well 56, if she give him the blow you are suggesting in comment 16, expected or not, he will be the one coming.
shaww 28
make-up sex?
lilhellian 27
Where does it say they broke up?
SirCharles83 13
Make up sex can be after a fight, not necessarily after a break up.
lilhellian 27
I don't see this as a fight tho.. More like a poor chain of events..
Jordath_Fil 11
All the more reason to make it better!!
SystemofaBlink41 27
Apologize sex?
zequa 14
Great way to wrap up the year
shaww 28
"Honey, I have a nut concussion."
onorexveritas 24
how is sitting on someones stomach "cute"?
lilhellian 27
Can be cute for guys.. Get yet another viewing point of the boobs...
BlueFlatts 20
If she is petite, I can see the plausibility in that.
onorexveritas 24
how is sitting on someones stomach "cute"?
zombieslayer83 19
LOL. I know what you mean, to try and be cute. I've had alot of girls that would do stuff like that, and it always ended up as a playful wrestling match.