Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
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Top comments
poccocurantes 7
Banging your boyfriend till he walks funny. Somehow I don't think that's what he had in mind.
Bliss391 7
I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how sitting on his belly would be cute. It really just sounds uncomfortable.
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Comments (67)
TheWorldGreatest 8
That's pretty funny .
bugmenotmofo 34
I think you were made for each other.
DanielleinDC 34
A kiss with a fist is better than none...
NonSenser 6
Instant Karma right there!
MaxG123 8
You now look like a Panda, and he waddles like a Penguin...
5sonic 22
Wait, why would you try and sit on your boyfriends belly?
redhedsaysrawr 18
Had a similar thing happen to me with a hammock... Don't worry OP it'll soon just be a funny memory for the two of you to tell people.
DestinysChampion 17
Bad luck, anyone?
iamlonelybuthapp 3
Oh.. I see.. You are a blonde...! Arent you?
Cyanide03 7
That's why you shouldn't TRY to be cute.