Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML
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Top comments
knockoutmouse 8
Sounds more like F his life
malheartsnutmeg 20
OP's face probably looked like 5's picture.
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Comments (167)
Spooksu 0
ouch
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
**** his life! At least you got your ******! And at least you have someone! I probably won't get laid until I'm 30, when I go buy me a hooker who turns out to be a man or a cop, and then I'll get nearly ass raped in prison, but I'll kill dat bitch wit ma shank, so I'll get sent to solitary confinement, where I'll be left to jack off till my escape from the dungeon in 1483, when the dragon eats me but I dont taste too good so he pukes me out, where I slay him and go save the princess, and you can figure out the rest from there... (; OH YEAHHHHH
XoX_CUPCAKES_XoX 0
nice life story lol
bedburgular 0
sounds like someone just finished a drug run ^^
XxAmygirlxX 0
That was brilliant.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Sean, lay off the acid.(:
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Dudeee, I'm not trippin! it really happened.
ClickMyPicture 0
you did a 50 sack weed didn't you? that's why your pupils are huge :/
lamnep 0
why does weed make his pupils huge? WTF is wrong with your weed
mamamiaaa_fml 12
free ****** yay!
Danielt104 6
then you **** the princess, but you suck at sex, so she dumps you and sucks the dead dragon's dick. Then you kill her and go back to jail. Then someone tries to assrape you. You don't have your shank so he succeeds. This makes you gay. You then turn into Brüno.
EatnBeef 7
girls will never know the pain.... some girls think we fake it when we get hit. just no..... it's horrible the pain is
htb2050 11
fml needs to add messaging in their apps.
murlocholmes 5
20 - did you at least get your White Castle burgers?
toqwert 0
I know I did...
ninjaboy18 6
Ouch
XoX_CUPCAKES_XoX 0
poor boyfriend but who kicks when they get am ******?
DahkLohd 4
I once had a gf who did that. Fortunately I made sure my nuts were never in the way :-)
ThatLooksSticky 16
lots of girls...if the ****** is good enough!
XoX_CUPCAKES_XoX 0
not this girl i wouldnt want to hurt my bf
malheartsnutmeg 20
OP's face probably looked like 5's picture.
outsidehitter7 9
seriously...is she retarded????
xX504DBXx 0
she must of had a really good ****** aha. but how'd the shit did she kick him in the nuts if he was going down on her?
TurboTalon 0
That's what I'm saying!! Maybe the bf is a midget and OP has reallllly long legs..
jessicaaababy 8
you're cute :]
cmac3308 0
yo
SirRuben23 0
hey
vizzlesback 0
woww ur so cute, litterally made this acount just so I can tell you that :)
WeAllLoveToast 0
69 DUDE! (I never thought I'd get to use that quote in this context)
ichikibobivopula 0
excellent, dude.
Melisso 4
I do and I thrust. I've basically punched my boyfriend in the nose with my pelvic bone.
samimcCune 15
wealllovetoast - #143 on my phone - she then would have kneed him in the face. there's no way she could kick him in the nuts, if his nuts were in his face, which they would be if they were in the 69 position.
knockoutmouse 8
Sounds more like F his life
SupermanXL 3
definitely
firesetsboy23 0
umm ya you def fail cuz in no way is this a fml its more of a fhl because he was trying to be a good bf by going down on you and you kicked him in the family jewels mmmm i think thats gonna be the last time he goes down on you for a long time
DocBastard 40
Is using punctuation against your religion?
jckbco 0
your last thought is why it is an FML you moron
BieberBlastHA 2
^lmfao xD
_HeadShot_ 0
in the family jewels? damn that's mah new word nigs
BloodyHeel 8
Oh good grief.
firesetsboy23 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yes absolutely against my religion actually no its just i didnt think i was gonna get hounded by the freaking grammar police but obviously i was wrong
firesetsboy23 0
well not my fault if she cant control her body and ended up kicking him in the family jewels now is it? doesnt mean you should go around being an a$$ and calling people names does it **** face? hmmm #32
bossboi 5
yah obviously you have to make sure that you watch out for those grammar police cuz theyre just everywhere looking for the absolute tiniest details to point out because they have to meet their quota of grammar infractions and they just keep looking and looking and you know I think it's better to call them punctuation police because that's alliteration so give it about 30-45 seconds and the PP will be on me for this purposely punctuation-less point
DocBastard 40
Firesetsboy, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different outcome.
firesetsboy23 0
first of all docbastard no one at all in this world is completely sane so if you think saying im insane is gonna hurt my feelings try again you re-re second of all stop being such a bit** to everyone because you think your superior to people because ill tell you straight up your not superior to me and that i can guarantee you so go get a life and f off
babbiebee 0
Omg if you can understand what they are trying to say who cares if they spell something wrong or miss punctuation grow up gorsh
ichikibobivopula 0
106 I'm on you for that purposely punctuation-less point.
Aviereus 8
you're*
Alleged_Cranium 7
What do you expect? What if during organs he ****-punched you?
Alleged_Cranium 7
oops "******" not "organs"
HOBOJOE117 0
haha win.
AceArctic 4
Masochistic couple? :P
Sasoono 1
yep
sourgirl101 29
But you did come first, right? That's all that matters. I'm just kidding. Poor guy. Kiss it and make it feel better.(:
Scott69 3
kiss it with your throat
sfv818danny 0
#10. you're so ******* hot. your husband looks gay
sourgirl101 29
Mr."69", I'm "101". That means I already know the basics.(:
sourgirl101 29
21 with all due respect, when you insult my husband you are in fact insulting me because he is whom I chose to be with and I didn't pick the wrong man so.... Please think before you speak next time.
DocBastard 40
Danny, I have some advice for you. Hitting on a married woman with two kids by saying she's hot then saying her husband looks gay will probably NOT get you laid. That's free advice, and it's worth every penny. Dumbass.
athenaxdivine 0
doc wins! :]
KittehKatt 0
wowww deffinaley f his life you came and he got kicked in the balls? fair trade much?
DjeePee 25
Hey, OP, think positive, there are girls outside who aren't able to ******! That being said, try to keep your legs in control next time. A difficult challenge, who wouldn't love that.
AMAZINashleigh 6
Ouch...haha.
ThatsAfurry 9
good luck getting him to go down on you anytime soon