Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
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Top comments
poccocurantes 7
Banging your boyfriend till he walks funny. Somehow I don't think that's what he had in mind.
Bliss391 7
I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how sitting on his belly would be cute. It really just sounds uncomfortable.
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Comments (67)
padlarf 14
And then he waddled away... waddle waddle ... 'til the very next day
panicsdisaster 17
For every reaction there is a reaction.especially when crushed gonads are involved.
geekpower_fml 28
For every *action there is a reaction, you mean? Physics. (:
panicsdisaster 17
My comments don't come from the purest state of mind. You get my point i hope
80skid 15
How cute!
MeLikeBigBoom 8
You know, consider yourself lucky. Only leaving with a black eye...
SethCohenheimer 6
Lol the world will be a better place once women understand that the gonads are our danger zone
GingerPanda94 6
Yeah... We already know that? Why do you think that when we are really pissed off that is (sometimes) our target zone.
lilhellian 27
It certainly was Lorena Bobbits target..
LarryLaDouche 13
I thought she just took the shaft and not the nads.
konstantinos616 17
Same thing happened to me on Christmas. We were watching Stepbrothers and her knee landed square on my left nut. Don't worry about it too much, as long as you guys are comfortable with each other, you'll both be fine and have a jolly ol' laugh about it later.
Enslaved 38
Was that because your left nut hangs lower? ***How funny! We both have the same song lyric written on our profile. (:
konstantinos616 17
Actually yea, by like 5/8". I'm guessing you're a rocker girl?
Eiregal2 10
Within temptation?
konstantinos616 17
You know it :D
MrMizzouBound 7
Hey, now you know that you have a shot, just don't let it slip away! ;-)
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
At least you're in pain together. =)
lolita88_fml 27
Oh look! I'm gonna be CUTE and sit on his belly! I'll suck his hamster-piss covered fingers at the same time and be SUPER cute! Hell, I'll even bump into him in the wave pool and he'll just DIE from my cuteness! Seriously. This shit isn't ******* cute. Grow up.
poccocurantes 7
You are a cuddler aren't you?
U_GotitDude 18
Ow