Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
Today, I challenged myself and went skydiving! However, I made the mistake of doing so on an empty stomach. I made it through the freefall, and through most of the canopy bit, until low-blood-sugar induced dizziness made me blackout on final approach. I still remember most of it, but now I feel emasculated. FML
Today, I went parasailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. On top of that, I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML
Today, I learned that it's possible to get hit by a bird while bungee jumping. FML
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Top comments
addictedtoIASIP 14
Well at least you know he found you attractive
thesmeagol 22
He was really excited about the skydiving.
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Comments (130)
SwtCherryPie 26
You strapped yourself to a guy with your ass all up against his junk and then get mad he found it arousing? You kinda deserve it.
limabeans101029 21
She's not necessarily mad about it, just uncomfortable. Which I think is understandable.
NPN_Scorpio 16
Muppet News flash: Men are wired that way. Only a few select yogi have complete control over their boners. Add the adrenaline and pulse of sky-diving, climbing, hang-gliding... Be flattered and/or embarrassed, but don't take it too personal. At least he didn't find you off-putting, and you both had your overalls zipped tight. Or...?
mosquito19 14
that's not from skydiving. did he immediately goto the restroom after touchdown?
martin8337 36
Was he large?
RedPillSucks 33
And in charge
soulschizm 1
For all you know he could of just been big and say he did have a boner maybe it was from skydiving and not you?
RedPillSucks 33
Did he say he had your back?
wvcheesehead 13
Did he stick the landing?
stewpididiot 11
No extra charge I hope !!!!
harish3693 9
it's quite natural... no need to blame your self or that guy... i am pretty sure that, that guy also felt the same guilty feeling...
octinate 17
Would it still be so "natural" if you were strapped to that guy and had to feel it instead? No one should have to feel boners they don't want to feel
harish3693 9
it's quite natural... no need to blame your self or that guy... i am pretty sure that, that guy also felt the same guilty feeling...