Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher, saying that he raised his hand during a test to say he "couldn't focus, because the ‘metroids’ are harassing me.” Apparently, he forgot about the test and took a healthy dose of shrooms right before. FML
Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, I had a presentation for my university class. The bus was 5 minutes late, and I ended up getting to class right on time. As I took a seat, my group was asked to present. I panicked and totally bombed my presentation. FML
Today, my friends convinced me to go on a "short" hike. Little did I know, they're actually all avid hikers, whilst I'm more of an "indoor enthusiast." I've now been climbing a never-ending hill for hours, hallucinating about my cozy couch, and praying for a miracle to deliver pizza to the summit. FML
Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML
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Top comments
feelslikeanoose 0
How could you not know that mushrooms would last that long? And why on earth would you do ANY drug other than marijuana before a presentation?? Come-on people!
I_Hate_Tpyos 0
obviously you were hallucinating too much to read that he said it was his first time.
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Comments (126)
Jali_Malcolm 0
Mushrooms are great, but way to do some research before consuming a hallucinogen.
a_bryan 0
Weird how people most critical and moralistic about mild drug use obviously know the least about drugs and have the least experience with them.
xxmsp91 0
you retard.peer pressure can be a b**tch
podrummer9209 0
Tool. Shrooms are not meant to be eaten if they're hallucinogenic, that means they're poisonous and your body is reacting to the toxins.
FiVeStAr_fml 0
um yeah... you're special. maybe you just shouldn't do drugs and shit like that won't happen.
thefinalpie 0
HAHAHA That's awesome!
Drizzt396 0
"And Stella, if you're shrooms aren't lasting you 6 hours or more, then you're either getting ripped off or not eating enough." Meh, I've tripped on your average dose and then some (>5g), and my 'trip' has never lasted longer than four hours. I've felt the afterglow for a lot longer than that, but all y'all who are talking as though shrooms last forever need to learn about something called the placebo effect. "Shrooms are not meant to be eaten if they're hallucinogenic, that means they're poisonous and your body is reacting to the toxins." Do some research. Tool. "Thanks to people like YOU, shrooms have been blacklisted in the Netherlands! Thanks a lot!" Actually, it's thanks to an even bigger, depressed, dumb bitch who had a history of suicide attempts and finally managed to succeed while tripping. Again, actually, it's not her fault it's the fault of the knee-jerk reaction of the general public to newsmen when they talk about drug horror stories.
raimonlm 0
truth is man, I work in an ER and this young kid of about 20 years old took some bad schrooms and went into a hallucinogenic mind state, the doctors said he would most likely never come out of it. he couldn't even recognize his own parents.
Curly_Wurly 0
GENIUS...
Suicidal_Alpaca 0
That is just idiotic.