Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML
Today, I’m bisexual and recently got into talking with a man after dumping my girlfriend. I had a “craving” for a man and when I went to fulfill my needs, it wasn't even two inches long. FML
Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
So you learned a lot about what doesn’t work. Now you need to learn what does. And if the answer is nothing, see a doctor.
duchessdoughnut 2
I was married to my husband before he gave me a proper ******, I’ve never told him as I used to fake it, now it’s almost always a dead cert that I finish first. Married/in a relationship or not, part of the fun of growing older is learning new things about yourself and different ways to have sex. You’ll get there, it takes time but you’re going to have a lot of fun trying!
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Comments (3)
duchessdoughnut 2
I was married to my husband before he gave me a proper ******, I’ve never told him as I used to fake it, now it’s almost always a dead cert that I finish first. Married/in a relationship or not, part of the fun of growing older is learning new things about yourself and different ways to have sex. You’ll get there, it takes time but you’re going to have a lot of fun trying!
poopface82 25
So you learned a lot about what doesn’t work. Now you need to learn what does. And if the answer is nothing, see a doctor.
Morten Bork 6
here is a tip, explore your body by yourself. find out what works for you. apply that knowledge when you are with others.