Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher, saying that he raised his hand during a test to say he "couldn't focus, because the ‘metroids’ are harassing me.” Apparently, he forgot about the test and took a healthy dose of shrooms right before. FML
Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, I had a presentation for my university class. The bus was 5 minutes late, and I ended up getting to class right on time. As I took a seat, my group was asked to present. I panicked and totally bombed my presentation. FML
Today, my friends convinced me to go on a "short" hike. Little did I know, they're actually all avid hikers, whilst I'm more of an "indoor enthusiast." I've now been climbing a never-ending hill for hours, hallucinating about my cozy couch, and praying for a miracle to deliver pizza to the summit. FML
Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML
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Top comments
feelslikeanoose 0
How could you not know that mushrooms would last that long? And why on earth would you do ANY drug other than marijuana before a presentation?? Come-on people!
I_Hate_Tpyos 0
obviously you were hallucinating too much to read that he said it was his first time.
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Comments (126)
AHOLE20 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
was is the first time because the first time i did them I freaked the **** out, but the past few time I could have given an awesome speech!
I_Hate_Tpyos 0
obviously you were hallucinating too much to read that he said it was his first time.
feelslikeanoose 0
How could you not know that mushrooms would last that long? And why on earth would you do ANY drug other than marijuana before a presentation?? Come-on people!
akg98 13
OTHER than marijuana?! Seiriously?! ALL NONPRECIPTION DRUGS R BAD
qqaz 6
Are you serious?? Is that what mommy taught you? Marijuana is really not a bad drug, unless smoked in very excessive amounts...
insomniac8400 13
Awwww, how precious... the majority of prescription drugs are ten times worse for you than cannabis or even charms. almost every painkiller on the market is basically refined heroin
joenuuuuu 0
^ i like this guy
redonkulon 2
Yeah so how did the presentation go?
noway_le 0
that's hilarious and i can relate in more ways than you can imagine. i love you.
hallucinog3n 0
the first time i ever ate mushrooms i had to talk to my mom for 45 minutes, and apparently the conversation we had was completely coherent. i would believe that the presentation did well (although i'd MUCH rather hear that it failed miserably)
MCart_fml 0
Your friend gave you a "great day on the beach" amount of mushrooms rather than a "still coherent at a party" amount of mushrooms.
midnyte 0
I'm sure your presentation was lively and colorful. Literally.
Eir_fml 1
so naturally, you tried them at about 6, and you were fine by 12, and had your presentation go off without a hitch, right? I'm assuming this is true, since you didn't say when you had them
starrieyed 0
hahaha that SUCKS
yougotboyed 0
you are a joker