sunshine19217
United States
Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
moonlight77
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
welp
Belton, United States
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
FriutlessApple
United Kingdom
Forever alone
Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML
Anonymous
Enterprise, United States
Classic
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
extraflavour
United Kingdom
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Darwin_Award_Winner
Beaumont, United States
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Lifeless
United States
Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML
Anonymous
Relatable
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
sad and hungry
Hackensack, United States
Enjoy!
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Fake it til you make it
Today, I tried to sound like I had my life together by bragging to a friend about how I meal prep every week. In reality, I’m sitting here eating a cold slice of pizza for lunch that I found in the back of my fridge. FML
Top comments
PhillyFox 0
Why would he care?
UpsidedownKayak 9
OP, he delivers pizza to you, I don't know how often, but he does. He knows you always order a single pizza and that there is no one there with you. Sorry, but you aren't fooling him but you might get him inside to deliver his tip. Does this sound like the beginning of a **** movie to anyone else?
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Comments (73)
Mervin22 6
pizza solves ALL problems.
UpsidedownKayak 9
OP, he delivers pizza to you, I don't know how often, but he does. He knows you always order a single pizza and that there is no one there with you. Sorry, but you aren't fooling him but you might get him inside to deliver his tip. Does this sound like the beginning of a **** movie to anyone else?
Trueeeee 0
I feel bad for u FYL
zachwass 0
Depends if you tip in singles.
banana_buddy 6
lol @ 13 I was just thinking that this is the beginning scene of a porno. Shirtless guy with mustache delivers pizza to the town ****, town **** opens the pizza box and finds a "dick in a box" , justin timberlake's song starts playing in the background and PRESTO porno.
Hidan_fml 0
Hahahaha, nice one, 21 and 13.
knibbsy 4
21, they do have movies like that. Look up the "Big Sausage Pizza" collection.
smellymellyy 7
wow you really know your stuff on **** movies.....:/
ImaginaryFoe 1
YDI for normally sitting around looking like shit. The pizza deliverer is worthy of you making an effort but you're not? Maybe if you took better care of yourself regularly you'd be inspired to go out and have a real life.
InnocentLies 0
Harsh but I agree. XP
ImaginaryFoe 1
It does sound a little harsh on the re-read. I tapped that out pre-cocktail.
Emileerzz 1
You're lucky. My pizza guy probably thinks I'm a loser
AlexBuda 0
When your trying to impress a PIZZA DELIVERY BOY you know you are a complete failure
forza_italia88 2
youre dressing up so the pizza boy thinks youre going out but youre getting pizza delivered at HOME which means youre staying in right? nice contradiction
azhein 0
she said she did so it looked like she had a life. she could be getting home from doing something.
vanilla2u 5
Don't lie you know you wanted some...xD
Hidan_fml 0
He wouldn't care, and plus, you'll probably never see him again, so you could look like shit and nothing would change. :D
emilyxorawr 3
the pizza guy? really? that is really sad FYL.
puredarkness_evi 0
#26 YOUR HOT. hehe FYL.
hideyoself 4
I wish girls seduced me when I deliver them cholesterol