Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML
Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML
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Top comments
KuronoEru 26
Order a pizza, write the instructions as "make a smiley face with pepperoni" good luck!
HarshD9619 34
Hang in there OP, things will be better. And I always see reruns of my favorite TV series to cheer myself up, you can do the same maybe!
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Comments (81)
random_man1999 11
I guess you could say... the pizza BURNED you
HarshD9619 34
I guess not
Patriots21 14
Man that was a brutal attempt.
howard007 18
I'd say the oven burned the pizza, rather than the pizza burning op.
The12thPaladin 8
You tried.
Silver7827 14
I guess OP was feeling the Bern
gamermonster 34
You had one job...
RickySleeves 20
Every time I read "burn," Ellie Goulding comes into my head.
ZoePapillon 16
That's because your taste in music is shit
gamermonster 34
You had one job #2, but you ****** it up
FUBAR_88 14
Don't take it to heart, the oven could have been up too high. It's ok OP things like that happen. I hope things get better soon. :)
RainbowLibster 17
It's because you used pepperoni as the topping.
Tripartita 45
Yeah, I always top my pizza with crystal to avoid burning.
RainbowLibster 17
#15 I meant because pepperoni is terrible.
syki 22
@18 Gonna ignore your maligning of the food of the gods to ask, so, what, *karma* burned the pizza?? Invisible metaphysical foodies that possessed the oven???
kaykaryn 8
Looks like we found the vegetarian
RainbowLibster 17
Well, we now know it causes cancer.
ThrottleJockey 36
Rainbow libster, news flash: human life has a 100% mortality rate.
Frid_Kun 7
Not really, there are some indication that it was a hoax. But I'm sure people will keep it up, just like retarded "GMO kills you" lie.
HarshD9619 34
Hang in there OP, things will be better. And I always see reruns of my favorite TV series to cheer myself up, you can do the same maybe!
FSGInsainity 15
Then Netflix doesn't load and the electrical grid collapses
LiteralxShit 15
It really does make you happy when you get a slice of Dean Winchester.
KuronoEru 26
Order a pizza, write the instructions as "make a smiley face with pepperoni" good luck!
andrmac 25
Well then OP runs the risk of having a pizza fail very similar to the cake fails!
soldier084 11
just make another one. adjust the temperature and time. you could always do it for half the time and check it.
demix_fml 32
Sending all the hugs. Hope you feel better soon x
coraline123c 23
I feel your pain, I hope things will cheer up for you soon
SupaMcNasty 6
Read the comments first without reading the post and it made me think someone died