Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I'd booked a day off work so I could sit and read books all day. I told my wife this, and her response was basically, "Well since you're at home not doing anything important, here’s a list of jobs that need doing." I wasn’t aware enjoying reading counted as doing nothing important. FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML
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Top comments
ManInTheMachine 20
Dammit redbluegreen! You edited your comment and now I look like an idiot.
Snafuusmc 12
IT'S A TRAP!
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Comments (134)
jwbfml 11
Read it together and be BDSM freaks afterwards.
truthbringer007 6
Its clear you haven't read 50 shades of grey
smilz2u 0
I don't see how this book can be connected to Twilight. First off, Twilight is a love triangle story. This book has no love triangle. Secondly, Twilight is about a vamp and werewolf. This book has no paranormal in it at all. Thirdly, Twilight has no explicit sex scenes in it. This book is so full of sex that parts of it seem monotonous. If anything, maybe after she reads all three books in this trilogy, she might want you to take her to an adult toy store. Then you might be happy she chose to read them hehe :)
bhemp03 0
It is based off of twilight. It started out on fanfiction. It is supposed to be like that.
BeClassy_BeMe 3
50 shades of grey is pretty good so fak u donal
Omg_its_Chloe 6
3 - 1D is just as sucky as Twilight. So your comment is kind of invalid lol.
JustAGuy107 0
BDSM is fun if you give it a chance.
alliemary31 5
I LIKE THAT BOOK!
stormchaser24 24
That book sounds better than a sparkling vampire. What happened to vampires sucking blood?
gracehi 33
Twilight vampires do suck blood. -.-
darkmis1 18
No, they just suck.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
111- out of your dick. Heyo!
NoOneCaresReally 8
Someone please tell me what BDSM is, google isn't helping.
gracehi 33
Google helped me. Don't understand why it wouldn't help you too. Bondage/submission/sadism/masochism. It's a sexual thing.