Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML
Today, my mother-in-law moved in with my husband and I, where she shits the bed and herself. There's a waiting list for the nursing home, so in the meantime I’m cleaning up her shit and she isn’t even my mother. FML
Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML
Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML
Today, my mother-in-law asked if she could move in with us. FML
Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML
Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML
Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML
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Top comments
xrainbowshadowx 17
Stick one of the toy lizards on the shower wall.
SuperKnuckels 6
i thought most politicians are shape shifting lizards.
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Comments (210)
heyhihello95 12
I'd create a fake job if I were you.
iLOLatURpain69 7
She can work for me ;)
nofearjenshere 12
^ Ew?
ForTheWin23 1
Hopefully you work at an insane asylum...considering your offer I don't think I had to ask
tjv3 10
The best thing you could do is play to her delusions. Install fake mini cams and stuff like that
ELIte10 0
Help her get a job then
Dr0reos 8
Man OP that sucks. nice use of the word wench by the way
wallandpiece 16
Well, David Cameron is a bit of a sly bastard. And Nick Clegg isn't much better either.
jonriise18 3
Pay her to leave. Win-win.... Kinda.
SuperKnuckels 6
i thought most politicians are shape shifting lizards.
shift_love 13
Yep here we go again with David Ickes theory of the reptilians. That may be a laugh, but big brother is very very real. Do some research op, there's cameras everywhere, government drones patrolling American cities. Get ready for 1984.
mvems 13
Only the minister of magic!
SpottedZebra42 14
They are in Britain. At least that's what Doctor Who taught me.....
ImaginaryFoe 1
To be fair, looking at Cameron, I can see him as a lizard. And from news of spy rocks to phone taps, it's easy to become paranoid living in Britain these days. FYL, OP. I'm sure she'll find a job right soon. They're all over the place! Practically everyone is hiring! (/sarcasm)
mxpklx 12
Beware of the Annunaki and their illuminati brethren!
Dr0reos 8
Yeah we all know the world is secretly run by an alliance of the illuminati and the lizard people.
rubberduckie94 13
Relax and enjoy the crazy. It can be fun if you roll with it.
ImaginaryFoe 1
So I've heard.
hthelittleone 10
Government drain monster?
ole_sidai 4
Everyone knows the prime minister IS a shape shifting lizard!
alfred07 18
Remember that one time he forgot to change into his human form? Oh what a fun prime minister's question that was.
olpally 33
Sounds like she belongs in the insane asylum... Yikes!
Jumpingmal2 7
Why thank you very much ;)
olpally 33
Thanks 18 :) nice try 19, haha :P
tinkx22 6
Cutie!
gracevet88 0
This guy right here is a government spy
SkoomaKi 28
Moderators can you delete this. My comments are going hay wire.
MotherHen88 4
I wonder what she thinks of the Geico gecko
xrainbowshadowx 17
Stick one of the toy lizards on the shower wall.
Jessabear143 4
That is an awful yet amazing idea. I think it should be done. Maybe she'll get so freaked out she'll leave.
lorenzoman77 7
Wasn't that the point 45?.. O.o
NoisyNykkii 10
Put a camera in the shower.
HeyMondayAddict 4
We're trying to help him get her to leave not help him make a porno
jonriise18 3
Why not get her to leave AND make a porno!? Win-win.
rubberduckie94 13
Relax and enjoy the crazy. It can be fun if you just roll with it.
msl1333 4
I agree. If only you were in America though. We'd give you a reality show. "Tonight on A&E it's an all new 'Hoarders', followed by an all new 'Intervention', followed by an all new 'My Step Mother's a Paranoid Schizophrenic'".
msl1333 4
Damn. Mother in law...I am ashamed.