Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
Today, my brother-in-law brought his new girlfriend over to meet the family. Things went south real quick after she went on a tirade about what terrible parents my wife and I are for letting our kids keep all their Harry Potter memorabilia. Now he’s mad I threw her out. FML
Today, my boss ordered me to read the Twilight series in order to determine if they are "appropriate" for his daughter to read. I'm a 25-year-old bank teller, and I definitely don't remember this in my job description. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I made lists of what celebrities we're interested in. The first one she listed wasn't a celebrity - it was my brother. He's spending the weekend with us. FML
Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
Well, at least she’s your brother’s girlfriend and not your own.
Paul Rushing 21
There’s a saying: “You can’t fix stupid”..
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Comments (5)
Bogrbon 27
Well, at least she’s your brother’s girlfriend and not your own.
Paul Rushing 21
There’s a saying: “You can’t fix stupid”..
RichardPencil 32
You can, but it usually involves a lengthy prison sentence.
raven_of_azarath 35
As someone who read the Twilight Saga when they were 13, I’m sorry. She has such poor taste in literature.
It_gets_better 20
Definitely, not a thing to be snobby about. Sure's it's not classic literature, but there is a reason those authors have sold over 100,000,000 copies.
Wadlaen 24
There's only a button for 'Your life sucks', but I think your brother's does too...
timinator5000 28
I don't think he's with her for her reading...lol