Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
That he's going to start feeding her corn on the cob before having sex. It's really the only logical reply.
drivingmissdaisy 13
Well..what did he say?
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Comments (120)
elkaypea 5
Hey this is the corn lover who posted this, just thought I'd share a lil background info. I have two ruptured discs in my back, hence the medication, and accidentally took two pills and one panadol, as the heavy meds look almost identical to panadol. About the orgasms, my boyfriend is the sweetest guy on the planet and as I took his virginity he doesn't have much experience. He is getting better but was really worried he didn't do anything for me because I didn't come. I'm aware I'm a total cow for faking but it made him happy and was only once. As to his reaction, I found out about it the next morning and when I admitted it was true (both the faking and the corn) he wasn't mad at me, only really depressed cause now he thinks that I find him unattractive. He's 6 foot tall, curly brown hair, blue eyes and an amazing set of abs/biceps. I'm officially the worst gf in the world. On the corn note, I really do love it and have been craving it for about a week:/
Zebediabolical 45
It made him happy and it was only once. You mean it made him happy until he found out you lied about it and now even if he does give you one he'll just assume you're faking that one too.
elkaypea 5
Pretty much. As I said, I know I totally deserved this
13swabra 9
not true at all, you were worried about his reaction, so you tried to make him feel better, and you didn't backtrack and try to lie your way out, i wish there were more people like you where im at, and im sure yur boyfriend is glad to have you by his side
orsombre_fml 11
Well, at least now he knows you better. ..
mattyiscool123 26
Corn is good
ohSNAPyall 27
Tell him you've been watching Mexican infomercials, and you need The Cornballer.
badkid91 11
Don't fake orgasms then, problem solved, instead of lying about it, help him with it..
maharb01 17
If you like corn so much, he should take the cue and pull out some dirty talk Dane Cook style. . ."my dick feels just like corn" and just make sure you're ready to reply with "give me the butter baby!"
JacobFrench 16
Oooohhh shit that's bad
oscillation26 3
plot twist: op meant to type **** instead of corn
TheBurdenOfLife 9
I took lortab after getting my teeth, and apparently talked to my boyfriend ( at the time anyway) about lesbian sex. I still don't remember any of it.
ItsMyLife1496 5
I'm sure he loved that! Lol