Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Awww Sweaty, don't worry
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Method acting
Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Bad actor
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
Top comments
Welshite 40
That he's going to start feeding her corn on the cob before having sex. It's really the only logical reply.
drivingmissdaisy 13
Well..what did he say?
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Comments (120)
drivingmissdaisy 13
Well..what did he say?
Welshite 40
That he's going to start feeding her corn on the cob before having sex. It's really the only logical reply.
solarei 4
What do you think happened, obviously she acted like a dumbass and the dude told her about it later. Classic YDI case.
brand125 17
actually 13, your wrong its NOT a classic YDI case. The op didnt tell us whether she had a painful condition that she REQUIRES medication, and whether or not she took the right dose or not. answers to those questions COULD mean its not her fault, you cant blame someone for taking their prescribed medication for intense pain and having loopy effects. (obviously if she did it to get high then its ydi)
jamalamadingdong 18
#35, I'd say it is her fault for faking orgasms in the first place though.
brand125 17
#43 - yeah i agree with you, in that way she has some fault. as long as your not saying ydi for dumb reasons
mageepaigeee44 15
I understand why she kept the ****** thing a secret but why did she "confess" to really liking corn? Did she lie about that too??
the_real_dvd 21
Wow 13... Classic YDI?? I was in an accident a 18 months ago that crushed 2 discs in my back. I couldn't even walk. Maybe you're man enough to walk that off but I'm telling you- Yes! I took the pain meds. Dilaudid and morphine and whatever. I apparently don't have a subliminal fetish for corn and I can guarantee I've never faked an O. But I did behave like a sentimental old fool and told my wife things a normal Midwestern raised man doesn't say. I had total diarrhea of the mouth, but in hardly consider I deserved it. Maybe you need some perspective.
laden_swallow09 35
You've had experience taking heavy medications, so you know not to talk to anyone or do anything while under their influence, lest you pass yourself off as a loose-tongued drunkard. The warning against operating machinery on the label should give folks a clue as to just how powerful are the drugs they're taking. I'd give this one a YDI.
brand125 17
#68 "youve been taking these meds you should know".. the fml doesnt state whether it was among her first times taking them (which it COULD be) or that she already knew she acted this way on them. but youve already assumed one way without considering it all. and by the way, lots of meds have warnings not to drive and such, only because of the drowsieness, not nessasarily becauses of the effects op witnessed. theres no "dont talk to family/spouse". of course i could be wrong
brand125 17
its like, dont ****** blame people for wanting to call their boyfriend when theyre in pain, its sad
Brandi_Faith 34
51, if you wrote this how come you stated you were a female calling your boyfriend in the post, but now you're a "Midwestern male" that called your wife? I'm confused.
ohcheriecherie 20
he didn't say that, 77...
brand125 17
77 - the person you are talking about did NOT say they were the poster of the fml, they just said their own personal story and relating it to the op.....
Brandi_Faith 34
Ahh ok, that makes sense. The way he was wording his comment made it seem as if he was claiming to be the OP which is why I said I was confused. I apologize for my mistake.
brand125 17
the confusion's understandable, lol
elkaypea 5
Hey this is the corn lover who posted this, just thought I'd share a lil background info. I have two ruptured discs in my back, hence the medication, and accidentally took two pills and one panadol, as the heavy meds look almost identical to panadol. About the orgasms, my boyfriend is the sweetest guy on the planet and as I took his virginity he doesn't have much experience. He is getting better but was really worried he didn't do anything for me because I didn't come. I'm aware I'm a total cow for faking but it made him happy and was only once. As to his reaction, I found out about it the next morning and when I admitted it was true (both the faking and the corn) he wasn't mad at me, only really depressed cause now he thinks that I find him unattractive. He's 6 foot tall, curly brown hair, blue eyes and an amazing set of abs/biceps. I'm officially the worst gf in the world. On the corn note, I really do love it and have been craving it for about a week:/ Btw I'm new to FML and I think I already posted this but can't find it? Such a ditz.
flame5768 14
someone takes pain medication, everyone know pain medication makes you crazy, she calls her BF...not classic but a ydi all the same
zenkuru 14
I'd think it her fault for calling her boyfriend after taking a heavy pain medication. I mean you would expect it to make you a little out of it.
worldclassrager 41
Meds always seem to give a loose tongue...
Demig0d6 14
That's pretty corny
euphoricness 28
Stop faking it, 29. You know it was funny!
worldclassrager 41
Looks like we now need an ****** comment...cum on!
JJ_86 22
That's embarassing. But on the bright side OP's bf is going to try harder at sex. And don't fake!!!!
cherries62212 16
well, that sucks, but now he knows he has to try harder in bed! cheer up! He might get better:)
doctorhook86 25
#3: I feel like you're way too optimistic about the outcome of her having lied about (by faking) and insulted her boyfriend's skills as a lover...
yeahthatsmeee 10
did he know she was faking the orgasms? she could just say she got a little too excited about the corn...
WuDi 6
Wait... was she faking it with corn? I'm cornfused now...
TunaFireStarter 16
While I don't think it's likely, it's possible she has only ever faked a few random orgasms (making it less of a big deal) and for some reason told him about it. Or it's even possible she has never faked them and she lied about it while loopy from the meds.
doctorhook86 25
#53: Sure, anything's possible, but all we've got to go on is the FML. Everything else is guessing.
cherries62212 16
I'm optimistic about life in genera!
laden_swallow09 35
Being an optimist in not always healthy. A dash of realism will keep you grounded, as opposed to your head in the clouds.
AnalAssault123 7
Was he surprised by your corn addiction?
Timerider_fml 7
I'm sure yes, it's common to fake ****** ^^
lil_ham1644 29
I have a corn addiction. When I was in high school, I probably ate a can of creamed corn almost every day
91hayek 31
I would have liked to been at that intervention. "All those ears and you aren't even listening! We love stop hurting yourself!"
enriquegonzolas 15
Hopefully he knows it's just the meds talking. Hopefully.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I think the point is that it's probably not just the meds talking
ninety 25
I think it's the meds making her talk, but not the meds actually doing the talking.
BlueFlatts 20
If meds could talk? What a strange world this would be.
ohSNAPyall 27
Eat Me Drink Me
6demon6spawn6 12
I would assume that it is obviously not a good idea to do anything after taking heavy pain meds, but I guess not.
brand125 17
wrong, calling your boyfriend to talk is not something id generally be worried about if i took meds. you refrain from things like driving and operating machinery, ect. but if your not allowed to talk at all , especially to the one whos suppose to support you while you are feeling down, then fuckkkk. (obviously she didnt know the extend of the effects til afterwards, but not her fault)
Rallred32 20
Who doesn't like corn? :)
gracehi 33
Me. I hate corn in every form but popped. I love popcorn.
LexiDaBae 17
You're really not supposed to eat corn... it has no nutritional value. =/
kerouacdesbois 7
#21 is right.
mageepaigeee44 15
Corn can protect the body from cancer and heart disease. It's actually quite good for you, it's the toppings people put on it that makes it bad. But if you use smart balance butter and a small amount of salt, it's very nutritious.
GraceyBlueEyes 13
I have no clue whether 49 is right or not so I'll ignore the comment. But even if corn has no nutritional value why does that equal "not really supposed to eat"?
mageepaigeee44 15
Good point 60. I guess the people above never eat cake or cookies or candy.
BlueFlatts 20
Our body just has a difficult time absorbing the nutritional value from corn, due to the kernel casing.
Rallred32 20
Let me clear things up. PEOPLE EAT CAKE BECAUSE IT TASTES GOOD. NO ONE EATS CAKE BECAUSE THEY THINK "oh hey this sounds healthy" or some shit like that. I LIKE CORN BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD ON MY TEETH. Ok? Now stfu about how it's "not very good for you." I don't ******* care.
DesmondThePotato 2
How the **** do YOU eat your corn?
NicH1799 20
I remember when I first confessed to my parents that I really liked corn. It was a hard day, but we pulled through, together. Keep fighting the good fight OP.
yeahthatsmeee 10
Accidentally clicked YDI on this FML, accidentally thumbed down your comment. It's been a tough day
NicH1799 20
Don't worry, raptor jesus forgives all
Kielnmsoftly 26
I'm about to come out and say I like potatoes. They're just so...round and beautiful. So tasty too. Any advice?
icnburbbygrl 23
Corn is really good...
Drake_The_Dragon 23
Well that corn thing must have just broke him up.