Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML
Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML
Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML
Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML
Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML
Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
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Top comments
greeneye_fml 12
What I would give to see this on video.
shananigans 0
"Taking out multiple children..." Now, I love kids, but the way I'm picturing this going down is absolutely hysterical.
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Comments (70)
cat83 0
Don't date people with kids... problem solved.
syed121417 22
Or OP and the girlfriend love each other? Someone doesn't understand the concept of a healthy relationship in any situation, now do they?
Ninjaface 0
Strike!
leggyxo 0
Then it wasn't water then, was it?
sbaldivia 0
wow how did this girl get so many posts up the other three from her are the rolling out of bed and the ****** on the motorbike and then the date paying in monopoly money for dinner? I smell bs to all of them
wordgirl 0
OMG, that's funny. :D I didn't realize what you meant until I scrolled back up and read the OP's name. :)
ahoyhoy123 0
Agrees with #10. haha! it made me laugh also.
JohntheBaptist 0
you should have ended your story at Amusement Park i would have felt WAY more sorry for you
pieintheface 0
taking out multiple kids? lol did you ram into them with your face or just trip em with your arms
ofwglui 0
are you sure it wasn't the blood of your victims sliding you down the hill
magankn 0
ya and your worried about the fact you slid on vomit rather than water then caring about the multipule children you took out on your way down. YDI
ariellesXurXboss 0
BThat is so friggin funny.