Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Today, I noticed that to get my boyfriend to do what I want, I must bribe him with food instead of sex. FML
Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML
Today, my husband read my texts and discovered that I get a laugh out of making him beg for sex. He handed me a printout of the texts and coldly said, "Either we're going down the list of everything you've said no to, or I find a side piece. Make a choice." FML
Today, my husband told me that, to feel less unreliable, he was just going to stop saying he was going to do anything around the house. That way, when he actually did something (i.e. wash dishes), I could be pleasantly surprised. FML
Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
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Top comments
duchessdoughnut 2
You deserve it. Twat.
Thaylok 17
he desires intimacy with you and you don't want it with him. you only earn points for making a game out if his needs. F his life. Just don't be surprised is he gets grumpy, crotchety and finds someone else who won't deny his NEEDS.
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Comments (8)
duchessdoughnut 2
You deserve it. Twat.
Wadlaen 24
Seems like your plan backfired...
Thaylok 17
he desires intimacy with you and you don't want it with him. you only earn points for making a game out if his needs. F his life. Just don't be surprised is he gets grumpy, crotchety and finds someone else who won't deny his NEEDS.
Thaylok 17
Don't get me wrong. He absolutely needs to help around the house! but treating intimacy as a reward after so many chores is making your love purely transactional. That is just wrong.
core01 30
You married a toddler who can't provide equal labor toward domestic duties and you're trying to treat him like the toddler he's being. But what you actually need to do is divorce him. Man babies never grow up. They just find new marks to use and abuse
009bouris 5
there it is the dumbest thing I’ll read today
Lost Reggie 22
Your opinion is bad, and you should feel bad.
jtookie 1
both of you are childish and have no business being in a relationship. communicate with your partner and tell them what you feel and need if they continue to put in no effort then leave but this tit for tat you do this I do this is dumb af and never works in the end.
Lost Reggie 22
Quid Pro Quo for sex is evil and stupid. So YDI for being evil and stupid.
Morten Bork 6
So, women say men can't expect sex, because it's not transactional, but build a point system to "earn" sex? the physical expression of your love for each other...??? yeah. that's not okay.