Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk, and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML
Today, I went to a theme park with my friends. I was excited to ride the rollercoasters, but just as we were about to get on the biggest one, I realized I'd had left my glasses in the car. I can't see shit without them, but I decided to go on the ride anyway. I spent the entire time screaming in terror while my friends laughed, while I couldn't see a thing. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
Today, I took my kid to Busch Gardens. All he said was, "Can we use the claw machines?" He wouldn't ride rides, watch shows, eat, or participate in anything besides begging to play the damn claw machines. I paid for the full day and dragged him out screaming after three hours. FML
Today, we went to an amusement park, or tried to. My idiot husband stuck his hand under his shirt like a gun and demanded free passes and "all the cash" as a joke. He's banned for life, they escorted us off the premises, and my children are inconsolable. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML
Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
It’s one thing to take the kids to an amusement park because either they want to go or you want to go verses trying to impress someone. Forget trying to impress the kids or your partner/spouse - Do it either because they want to do it or you want to. Personally I love roller coasters… In the long run it’s usually less the special treats that kids remember, and more the everyday behavior of their parents they remember. Not that kids don’t like treats - they do. But one nice day doesn’t make up for a year of unpleasant behavior. In the end you have to be parent first, and then friend. Forget about trying to impress the kids…
RichardPencil 32
You don't hear many stories where the narrator tries to "look cool" and they actually pull it off.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
You don't hear many stories where the narrator tries to "look cool" and they actually pull it off.
Chazzster 32
It’s one thing to take the kids to an amusement park because either they want to go or you want to go verses trying to impress someone. Forget trying to impress the kids or your partner/spouse - Do it either because they want to do it or you want to. Personally I love roller coasters… In the long run it’s usually less the special treats that kids remember, and more the everyday behavior of their parents they remember. Not that kids don’t like treats - they do. But one nice day doesn’t make up for a year of unpleasant behavior. In the end you have to be parent first, and then friend. Forget about trying to impress the kids…
Anderling 33
Almost always, the kids will grow up and eventually realize that the Cool Parent was never the one there when they needed it, and the one telling you to do your homework and brush your teeth and put on a long-sleeved shirt when it’s snowing outside is the one who actually had to do the hard work of teaching kids life skills because Cool Parent wasn’t going to.