Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML
Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
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Top comments
Yazoo77 16
Should have turned back and threw her off the slide
FYLTHOUGH 15
should have kicked her back
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Comments (89)
uglytwin 15
That's crazy. Hope you're okay, OP.
FYLTHOUGH 15
should have kicked her back
vinnerator 7
exactly my thought
RedPillSucks 33
he's facing the wrong way
thatguynamedsky 32
youve must have never been stuck in a water slide before
Futacy 30
Nah, he should've punched the kids.
dcea 17
This one made me laugh
catlover5299 18
yes, he should have, but he didn't
Yazoo77 16
Should have turned back and threw her off the slide
Rkikkas9713 25
I'm assuming this is one of the circular slides where you are in an enclosed space.
Bman54 19
I don't think throwing a "big-boned" lady is that easy.
MrConcise 35
Can we just say fat? She was fat.
ironik69 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Actually, I was quite content with the words the author used in the first place. Then again, you would probably call me fat.
iAmPaul 49
@60 guys I found the SJW
Garrett2818 21
You ever see a fat skeleton?
pauliegon 18
#60, rocking the double chin in the profile pic
Hyenayena 27
So, #60.... You do see the quotation marks right? "Big boned " ... He/she didn't mean to say it out of decency, but rather as a "nice" way to call the gal a fatty. You see? ?
ironik69 31
@#62, SJW, not so much. It just seemed fine with the terms the OP used. But thanks for giving me another label. Way to go you! @#75, there are no fat bones. But there are different sized bones. Tall people get tired of being called tall as well as short people being called short. I can garuntee that my six foot tall bones are probably going to be different than yours. @#88, although I can not tell if you were attempting to be rude or genuine, either way, there were no quotation marks in the post or in the person above me that used the word fat.
NoBookNoGood 14
Probably: kick the persoon in front of me, that will help. otherwise there wouldn't be kicking...
hellnosucka 27
free massage?
ComoEsJuan 24
She gets her kicks by hurting people, I guess.
Ben14h 22
I'd be surprised if the kids didn't get kicked out.
qdawg06 23
If it's one of the waterslides with an attendant, they should pay mote attention. What if she kicked the kids?
PePziNL 20
Then she would've done well, these kinds of kids are ******* annoying.
proudsock 17
sounds to me like the kids deserved to be kicked. asshole children.
heryseshta 9
Maybe the kids would have experienced what consequences feel like for once, it sounds like they need it.
cksmith51 14
Well your slippery slope wasn't slippery enough
rydin10 18
Don't they usually have an employee at the top to watch for the last person to come out before they send other people down?
SolarLunix 21
No, I believe they can send three down as long as there is a gap between them given a long slide.
alkoy 4
also, they don't *usually* have those guys in germany. on bigger slides there's usually some kind of traffic light